2020-11-14 Pedro and Brayden's Double Disaster

 2020-11-14 Pedro and Brayden's Double Disaster

Pedro Negron dressed relatively casually for his date with Jessica Agnor … Jess.  Mostly he was a casual dresser by nature, but since this was a date, he chose his nicest jeans and a polo … a pull on shirt with buttons and a collar.  Not a tshirt.  He put his clean sneakers on his feet, instead of his usual work boots, and bid his family  good evening as he headed out the door.  He wasn’t even sure where they were going, or what they were eating.  But it was a double date with his best friend Brayden Kim, so he figured if nothing else he’d have a good time with him.  He hoped.

Brayden hadn’t been on a date in a very very long time. This one was a bit of a shot in the dark but at least a double date so he could talk to Pedro if for some reason he couldn’t think up enough witty conversation with Shawna Stevens. He wore a black and white vertically striped button up shirt but untucked over a nice pair of black jeans and had even styled his hair properly with pomade. He had been pretty lax about that since his life fell apart earlier this year so his mother and Gareth noticed he was making an effort tonight and got all excited. “Don’t get your hopes up...it’s just dinner. Pedro and I made a pact to get ourselves out there. I don’t even know if I like Shawna and Pedro doesn’t even know Jess.”

Gareth had grinned “Jess Agnor and Shawna Stevens? Noice….” He winked.

Brayden cringed “Oh fuck….tell me you haven’t banged them both?”

Gareth laughed “Neither actually. Emely Agnor once after a concert. Should I make you a list if has not banged Gareth is a criteria now?”

Michelle Kim snorted “Oh I never thought you two would be having this chat. And Brayden that might be a short list. Maybe you should date younger women.” She teases them both “You look nice. Where are you going for dinner?”

Brayden holds up a hand at Gareth “God please no...I don’t think I even want to know.” Then he rolls his eyes at his mother and finally says “I was going to suggest that seafood place...the Daily Catch or whatever. We’re meeting at Central Park so everything’s close. Well Pedro and I are meeting here to walk to them. Wish us luck.” He put on slip on black sneakers at the door and a light but lined black windbreaker style jacket and then went to wait outside for Pedro.

Meanwhile Jess Agnor was at home instructing her sister on dog sitting Lulu as she put on her mascara and lipstick “You can give her treats but not too many treats. I’ve gotten her a new chew toy so she’ll have less anxiety when I’m out without her…..Lulu baby mommy’s just going for dinner….” the little dog yapped at her because poodles do that and this one was a bit high strung “Oh and when you walk her watch out for bigger dogs. She does have anxiety…..and don’t let anyone mate with her. I’m still thinking of breeding her but it needs to be another purebred poodle.” Finally she came out of the bathroom and spun for her sister. She was wearing a tan mock turtleneck sweater shirt under a slightly school marmish patterned belted jumper dress that went just past her knees. Her long blonde hair was in a single braid down her back except the fringe of bangs at the front framing her innocent looking doe like face. Jess radiated wholesomeness and all things cutesy. It made her the ideal elementary school teacher. She had on black leggings and slid her feet into a pair of brown leather short boots after the spin. “Yes I do wear this for teaching but it’s nice…….. I don’t own any shorter skirts and I don’t want to give THAT impression…….. I’m sure he’s as Catholic as his brother...which is kind of sweet………….. Well I like traditional men.” Her side of the conversation indicated the two sisters were polar opposites. Jess was looking for a cookie cutter fairy tale relationship with a man who wanted marriage and kids, and of course dogs. From what she could tell of Angel Negron he and his family were all about that so she was hopeful about Pedro and rather delighted to be set up with him. She pulled on a dark cherry pink shawl she had knit herself and slung a small brown leather purse over her shoulder. “You and Lulu have fun and call me if there’s any problems. By Lulu…..be good for Auntie Em! Let’s hope he’s Mr. Right!” She crossed her fingers and headed out the door of her apartment, knowing she’d be early but that was a good thing.

Shawna Stevens had been so thrilled to be asked out by Brayden Kim, despite their age difference.  For the date, she’d dressed casually in well fitting jeans in a sort of middle blue shade, a green sweater and black blazer.  She wore flat ankle boots on her feet.  Thi date was going to be different, she’d told herself.  She was over Dillon Smith this time.  It was time for a nice meal with a nice young man and his friend.

Pedro angled across third to the stoop of Brayden’s brownstone.  He looked him up and down.  “You ready for this, amigo?”  He offers a half a smile.  He was looking forward to it .. almost.  He had to admit the doggie mommy thing … concerned him.  But it was worth a shot.

Brayden grinned at Pedro and gestured to his clothes “Hey man...you clean up nice. Ready as I’ll ever be.” They start to walk and he puts his suggestion forward “I was thinking that seafood place by the water behind the Sterling building and the gym….unless one of those ladies hates fish or something. As long as we don’t go to the noodle house. I love my Chad but I feel like he’d enjoy watching me squirm on a date WAY too much for me to ever enjoy it…….or he’d try to be all helpful. I don’t know which would be worse.” He chuckles and in no time they’re at the Central Park where Jess is already waiting and Shawna is walking up as well from another direction. Now Brayden smiles warmly at Shawna “Hi Shawna….you look very nice.” He’s not really sure how to greet her. It’s been ages since he did this so he sort of half tries to shake and half tries to hold her hand at the same time. He nods at Jess “Hi Jess.”

Jess wasn’t even sure which one of the Negrons was Pedro until she saw him walk up with Brayden. She’d seen him around of course but never knew his name. But she approaches him and looks him over with a  bit of a blush. He’s very handsome. She sticks out a hand to shake “Hi Pedro I’m Jess. Nice to meet you...properly.” It was a near blind date for the two of them but she was game. Even more so after seeing him.

Shawna walks up to the men and Jess.  It occurs to her that she is the oldest one of the four of them.  But she smiles and quickly takes Brayden’s hand, then releases it, pulls out a container of hand sanitizer and sanitizes her hands.  “No offence … Covid.”  she looks at Jess.  “Oh that's  lovely shawl.”  she compliments.  “Where did you get it?”

Pedro shakes Jess’s hand and smiles.  “Yes.  I’m sorry I had to go through Angel, but that felt like .. well the best way to avoid being arrested for stalking.”  He has a good sense of humor. 

Brayden looks embarrassed that he even reached for Shawna’s hand when she does what is of course the correct thing after “I’m so sorry...you’re totally right Shawna. Believe me I follow the protocols at work too...no offense taken.” He swallows. Greeting fail. Then he looks at Pedro and sighs before asking “So would you ladies like to go try that seafood place?” 

Jess watches the hand sanitizer moment with a nod “Oh I guess I should do that too….sorry Pedro.” she giggles about the stalking “Well it would be an odd way to get my attention for sure.” She pulls out her own hand sanitizer and a dog biscuit falls to the pavement from her purse and shatters “Oh darnit….” Then she looks down at her shawl “Oh I made it...thank you. I made Lulu one too and matching little booties….because who can resist right?” She gushes about the doggie booties and then answers about the restaurant “Sure I like seafood.”

Shawna smiles politely at Brayden’s apology.  “No problem.  Occupational hazard, right?”  she smiles and then nods.  “The seafood place sounds nice.”  She has to admit that it is a romantic setting.  Dillion had taken her there several times and afterwards… she pushes Dillion out of her head.  Focus Shawna.  She looks at Jess and grins.  “Oh that sounds so cute.  What is Lulu?  What breed, I mean.”  she asks, innocently.

Pedro shakes his head.  “I didn’t think of it, either.  I guess since my job is so dirty to begin with, you know.”  he grins at the potentially odd way to get someone's attention and then watches her take out her hand sanitizer.  Jess starts talking about the shawl she made for the dog and he blinks.  Who wouldn’t make matching booties for their dog?  He wouldn’t.

Brayden sort of starts them walking by taking a few steps in the duration they need to go “Totally.” He answers Shawna. She’s nice. Aside from the greeting fail which she’s also being nice about. He can do this. “Shall we then?” He looks at the others as he walks. Now they’re talking dogs. He hopes Pedro doesn’t run screaming and jump into the ocean.

Jess starts walking too. “Well you look handsome and clean right now…” She sort of coos at Pedro “You must be very strong.” She answers Shawna “Lulu is a miniature poodle, a black one. The breeder got it wrong thinking she was a toy poodle like her mother. I guess there was a recessive gene in there because she outgrew my purse. A little sad but she does love a good run. The big ones are the standard and there’s also teacup poodles…….but you really have to watch for inbreeding. Anyhow she’s 5 now….we just had her birthday...I should show you the pictures….” She pulls out her phone. “I’ve gotten better at the cakes…...sort of a liver spread...like a fondant to work with.” She starts showing Shawna and then Pedro pictures as they walk “Oh and there she is in the bath with all her toys…...oh Lulu you silly goose…” She sighs happily. Lulu of course was in the bathtub a human would use which meant any human dare bathing or showering in Jess’s apartment would also be where the dog gets hers.

Shawna walks more with Jess, although she isn‘t trying to be rude.  The guys can keep up,  Lulu is adorable, she has to admit, but looks kind of frail.  Apparently the dog is bigger than it was supposed to be but is still loved.  Jess shows pictures of the doggy birthday party and she beams.  “Oh that's adorable.  Isn’t it, Brayden?  Pedro?”

Pedro smiles at being called handsome and clean, but is feeling like he might have done good not to be patted on the head or scratched behind the ears.  But speaking of dogs, Jess starts talking about her dog again.  The word ‘purse’ comes up and Pedro coughs then clears his throat.  “It’s not Covid.”  he assures them.  Then he sees the picture of the dog in the human bathtub.  “Oh … right in the humans bathtub.  Will you look at that.”  he tries to keep his voice modulated.

Brayden tries to be polite about the dog “Yes very cute.” Then he has to work really hard not to crack up at Pedro’s reaction to the bathtub picture. He was hearing more about poodles than he ever wanted to know himself. And he dare not say it in present company but Brayden is really more of a cat person if he has to choose between them. He taps Pedro “Oh here we are…” Maybe the menu will present a new topic of conversation that isn’t dogs.

Jess beams at Shawna’s fawning “She really is.” She smiles about the not Covid throat clearing “That’s good to hear.” Then she comments on the tub “Well those are her bubble baths...in the big tub...sort of her spa day. Sometimes if she just needs a quick rinse I lift her right into the kitchen sink...because she fits right?” She puts her phone away as they get to the door of the restaurant “Oh it’s quite lovely isn’t it?”

Brayden opens the door and holds it for everyone “After you all…” He says dramatically.

Shawna grins.  “Oh … that sounds so sweet.  A day spa!”  she can’t help but giggle a little bit.  Arriving she goes past Brayden with a smile.  “Thank you, sir.” and looks around with her smile in place, reminding herself that she is with Brayden and he deserves her undivided attention.

Pedro keeps trying to tell himself that poodles are like Luis Guzman, but is having a hard time making the connection.  Jess then mentions washing a dog in the kitchen sink and he works his jaw a moment before he simply agrees.  “Right….”  he goes in, shooting Brayden a look that says he is not amused, but not saying anything aloud.

Brayden enjoys Shawna’s smile. She’s pretty and getting prettier by the minute as he warms to this. He laughs along about the dog day spa and then catches Pedro’s look and clears his throat. The host greets them and shows them to a table by the window, asking if they want a wine menu as well as the food menus. Brayden thinks about the dog awkwardness “Wine would be great...let’s take a look at that.” He pulls out a chair for Shawna like a gentleman and smiles at her “M’lady?” And then if she allows it he’ll just seat himself after.

Jess giggles along with Shawna “She loves it...oh thank you Brayden.” She smiles at the host and then as they get to the table she hears the word wine and looks almost scandalized “I rarely drink….but maybe just one glass when I have food.” She doesn’t pick up at all on Pedro’s facial expressions but pats his arm “You’re not a big drinker are you?” She words the question like it might be a deal breaker.

Shawna smiles sweetly as Brayden pulls the chair out for her.  A gentleman.  So much better than … she stops that thought.  When the subject of wine comes up, she looks at Jess carefully.  “And a special occasion calls for wine.”  she looks at Brayden with a smile.

Pedro takes his cue from Brayden.  Normally he was a gentleman, but he also liked a woman who didn't need or want the old fashioned.  But once Jess is seated, he sits himself..  He hears about the wine, but also sees Jess’s reaction.  She pats him on hte arm and asks if he is a big drinker.  He suspects that anything more than a glass of wine twice a year is her idea of heavy, and that means that he is a heavy drinker … in spades.  But he can see that Brayden is having a good time, so he tries hard to be diplomatic.  “I’ve never been so drunk that I’ve passed out or thrown up.”  he tells her and again, it's the absolute truth.  He has his father’s constitution and can drink good and hard … and does but usually with his father and Samuel.  None of them passed out, or threw up or even blacked out.

Brayden smiles at Shawna. She thought this was a special occasion? Nice. Maybe he still had it. “Well then do you prefer white or red Shawna?” He heard Jess’s conversation with Pedro and pursed his lips. This should be interesting. Brayden had what he considered to be a healthy relationship with alcohol. He abstained from it for a while when his mental health plummeted out of fear that he’d drink for the wrong reasons but now he felt stronger and wanted to embrace everything, drinking socially, dating, friendships. Pedro helped with that last part a lot, bringing him out of his shell.

Jess blinks at Pedro’s reply about drinking and drums her fingers on the table “I see…..” She’s worried now that he is a bit of a drinker. “I’ll just have a half glass.” She whispers to Brayden.

Shawna smiled a little more broadly and her voice took on the slightest of flirtatious edges.  “Rose.”  she told him.  “In the middle.  But whatever goes with whatever I am having, and I am considering whatever the catch of the day is, so the wine choice may change with my decision.”  she looks at jess when she replies to Pedro and she feels a little sorry for the man.

Pedro guesses that drumming fingers plus ‘i see’ equal Jess thinks he’s a drunk.  Well he can still make it with one strike against him.  “The catch of the day sounds like a solid choice.”  he announces.  “We are here to celebrate new beginnings, mi querido.”  he gives Jess one of his sexiest smiles and pours on just a touch of that Latino charm.

Jess listens to Shawna and Brayden who seem to be connecting. She barely knew the woman aside from her just being in the clinic. Her world was the school so they didn’t cross over a lot. But then Pedro smiles at her and she all but melts into a puddle “Oh yes….that sounds good….” She stares at him a little starry eyed and spontaneously blurts out a personal question “So Pedro….do you want kids one day?”

Brayden had been nodding along with Shawna “Rose.” He felt a little tingle at her flirty tone and found himself flirting back “Go with the flow...I like it. You’re my kinda person Shawna Stevens.” He smirked and then froze as he heard Jess’s out of the blue question about kids...on the first date? Jesus lady…...He flagged down a  waiter figuring they needed to get to food and wine and especially wine “Hi there...what is the catch of the day special? And do you have a wine recommendation?” The server explained that the catch of the day was a sockeye salmon and the special was Asian Sesame Ginger Honey grilled salmon and he did in fact recommend a rose. Brayden gestured to Shawna “You were bang on….let’s do it…..the salmon I mean..” He chuckles and blushes.

Shawna smiles.  Brayden was so sweet, kind and considerate.  Not that … well not that HE wasn’t .. but he could put his foot in his mouth and make her so mad she just called it off.  No .. we weren’t thinking of HIM.  She hears Jess ask about kids and she blinks a moment and decides to definitely stay out of THAT conversation.  The waiter offers up a distraction and she laughs with delight.  “Perfect!  I’ll go for the salmon, definitely.  And the rose.”

Pedro realizes his smile has him on even footing again, but then Jess spits out a question about children.  On the first date?  Were they gonna try and make them before or after dessert?  He clears his throat.  “Well … I have 4 brothers and two sisters.”  he tells her, which doesn’t exactly answer her question.  The waiter comes by and offers him an out, which he takes like a drowning man reaches for the life preserver.  “The salmon sounds great.  I’ll have that, too.”

Jess looks a little ruffled by Pedro’s non answer. OK he had siblings...did that mean he wanted that many children? Her biological clock was ticking. She quietly huffed at him and then the waiter looked politely at her and she looked down at her menu. She didn’t want the special like everyone else. “Could I have the baked halibut but with a tossed salad instead of pan fried potatoes? I don’t do carbs….and actually just a mineral water please, maybe with some lime? Thanks.” The waiter took the menus and graciously left to put in the orders.

Meanwhile a text came in for Shawna from Dillon Smith:

Hey Babe. I know I fucked things up….but I can’t stop thinking about you. I need to see you. What are you doing right now?

Brayden grinned at Shawna and then awkwardly nodded at Pedro. He dodged the kid question. Then Jess seems to be sidestepping the wine and carbs. The waiter returns with a bottle of Rose and 4 glasses and offers to pour it “Please.” Brayden requests with a small chuckle.

Shawna puts a hand over her wine glass “No thank you. I did order a mineral water though?” Her tone was a bit short with the waiter and he was immediately apologetic. It was a bit uncomfortable. He quickly poured the other three glasses and left the bottle, off to get Jess’s drink.

Shawna watches as Jess orders something completely different which is fine, but she went suddenly from half a glass of wine to a mineral water.  That felt a little like thumbing her nose up at them drinking wine.  She hears a buzzing in her purse.  “Oh excuse me.  That might be the clinic.”  if something had happened, she may have to pass on the wine too.  But it's a text from Dillon and she sniffs at it.  She replies trying to put huffiness into a text message.

I am at the seafood restaurant having dinner with nice, sophisticated friends.  We;ve broken up so you just think of my memory.

She sends it and smiles.  “Sorry.  That was too rude of me.”  she makes a show of turning her phone off and dropping it back in her purse.

Pedro realises he didn’t answer the question.  Jess orders a different meal telling them all she avoids carbs and switches from her wine to mineral water.  He felt a little defensive.  Then Shawna gets a text message and turns her phone off.  Was he supposed to do that as well?  He clears his throat and picks up his wine, taking a large swallow.  “So … “  he struggles to find safe conversation.  “No snow yet…”

Brayden gets that Shawna needs her phone with her work “Oh hey no worries at all.” But her turning off her phone also makes him feel like he’s a bit special, to have that much undivided attention and he looks sweetly at her and leans a bit closer in conversation to her at the table. He sensed some discomfort between Jess and Pedro. They were not hitting it off as well. Brayden tried not to feel guilty about how well his side of it seemed to be going now. “No snow….so far.” He chuckled “But it’s not so bad here. Maybe even a bit warmer than Toronto.” He offers. “What about you Shawna….what season is your happy place?”

Jess eyes Pedro, trying to figure out how to re-engage and then he talks about snow and Brayden asks Shawna about seasons “Well I’m a summer person who loves Christmas” She announces and then beams “And all the Hallmark movies are coming...I just had my DVDs for …” She hesitates not knowing if Pedro knows about the fog.

Shawna smiles as Breyden leans into her.  He asks about her favorite season and it only triggers more memories of meeting Dillan.  “Spring.  Lots of refreshing rain.”  she sighs happily.  Jess almost spills about the fog, but Shawna thinks a lot of the people who have moved here have figured it all out by now … right?

Pedro aches his brows.  “A summer person who loves Christmas?”  they aren’t talking about dogs in the sink or carbs or babies.  But its still strange.  “You plan to catch up on Hallmark movies over the last 3 years?” he asks.  She’s a teacher so she’d have all the holiday to do it, too.  “What kind of movies do you like?”  that might not be a safe place he realizes almost immediately.

Brayden nods at Shawna “Spring…...yep...everything comes to life.” He forced a smile about it. Spring was a trigger for him about a horrible part of his life, the worst of it. Everything coming to life while he truly wanted to die. But then he can’t help but really smile as Pedro reveals he does know about the fog. “He knows.” He says, looking between the two women and stating the obvious.

Jess exhales “Oh that’s so much easier. And yes...yes I could. I love all the romance movies. Box of tissue kind of movies...with happy endings of course. I like happy ever afters. Feel good stories.” She confirms “What about you Pedro?”

Dillon Smith has been frantically texting Shawna and getting no reply. But she told him where she was so now impulsively he runs to her and looks in the window of the seafood restaurant seeing her on what looks like a double date. He doesn't guess she’s there with Brayden but that annoyingly handsome construction worker...one of the Negrons. He bursts into the restaurant and drops to his knees beside Shawna “Please...I made a mistake….I love you Shawna Stevens. Give me another chance….I’ll do anything for you!”

Shawna ws indeed relieved that Pedro knew about the fog and she had to smile when Less admitted to a love of romance.  That fit her like a love.  But Shawna also loved romance and when Dillian bursts into the restaurant and drops to his knees beside her, begging forgiveness and promising her anything …  anything … she looks at him and finds herself in tears.  “Dillon … oh … oh DIllon.”  she sniffs and forgets she’s with three other people, one of whom is her date for the evening.  She cups his face and looks deeply into his eyes.  “I love you, too.  So much.  One more chance ..  ONE.”  she forgets that this is the dosenth one more chance, but she doesn’t care.  She kisses him passionately.

Pedro is once again backed into a conversational corner when Jess says she loves cry your eyes out romances.  Those were so not his thing.  He looks at her with his mouth open when suddenly the guy who helped install the plumbing in the new community center and library is on his knees asking forgiveness of and professing love to Braydens date.  She kisses him and he stares at them for a second before his eyes fly to Brayden.  And here he thought HIS night was going tits up.

Jess, who loves romance is all delighted by Dillon and Shawna “Awww.” And then it actually does dawn on her that Shawna is still on a date with Brayden “Oh dear....sorry Brayden...”

Dillon kisses Shawna back so passionately he almost tips over her chair “Oh thank god...” He murmurs between kisses and then hears Jess say something about Brayden and backs up “You were Brayden’s date?” He looks a little sheepishly at Brayden “Hey sorry man..” But then reaches for Shawna’s hand to pull her to her feet “Some things were just meant to be.”

Brayden had watched the whole scenario between Dillon and Shawna with wide eyes and then eventually sighed at Dillon’s apology “Uh ok. Congratulations I guess....”

The waiter shows up with their food and hovers awkwardly.

Brayden just laughs “I will take mine to go and pay now please. And I’ll get the wine.” He looks at Pedro with an expression of absolute defeat.

Shawna lets Dillon pull her to her feet.  She steps into his arms and kisses him again.  Then she realizes that she is on a date … and not with Dillon.  She looks at Brayden with a smile that was obviously not brought on by him.  “I’m sorry Brayden, but … “ the final word comes out of her mouth in a breathy little sigh.  “Love…”  and she will head out of the door with Dillon, ignoring everyone and everything else.

Pedro looks at the scene before him.  “Que carajo (what the fuck)?”  he looks at the waiter and then at Brayden.  He pulls out his wallet and takes out his card.  “It’s on me hombre.”  his accent thickening a bit because he is seriously annoyed by everything.  “Bring the wine.”  he tells Brayden, as if they are all alone.  “We can pick up a bottle of Don Q on the way.”  he makes it sound like they are going someplace specific, even though he suspects they’re just going to go someplace and get drunk.  He hands his card to the waiter to pay, then he looks at Jess, feeling in many ways much freer than he has all night.  “I’m more of an action guy … you know shooting, stabbing .. detective stories.  I’m related to half of Puerto Rico … I don’t want kids .. I’m a professional uncle.  And for the record, you shouldn't treat animals like humans … it confuses them.”  he shakes his head and murmurs to himself.  “Washing dogs in sinks.  Loco!”  the waiter is still staring at them and Pedro waves him off.  “Vaminos!”  he doesn’t shout, but he raises his voice slightly.  He’s ready to get away from these crazy women.

After being on his knees and getting back up Dillon’s pants are hanging low at the back displaying a cliche plumber’s butt. He is a plumber after all. Adding insult to injury though Dillon is a rather hairy human and his butt is no exception. This is all at eye level as they exit to the lands of their love. 

Brayden hears Pedro and nods as he backs up a little in his chair away from the exiting couple and the hairy plumber backside “Jesus...” He laughs. Well....if Shawna likes a man bear it’s probably best they didn’t hook up. Brayden tries to keep a straight face as Pedro bluntly dismisses his own date. He feels a little sorry for Jess but he couldn’t argue with anything Pedro said. “Thanks man...” he says about the bill.

Jess shielded her eyes from Dillon’s butt like she’s never seen a naked man in any form and it’s a terrible shock. But Pedro’s words shock her even more and she just gapes at him and huffs repeatedly, unable to form a sentence to reply.

The waiter flags down a coworker and they tag team to pack up the food and process Pedro’s card as fast as they can. 

Jess finally stands and roughly grabs her purse “You can keep my halibut! You.... you.... rude rude man.” It’s clear she can’t swear, ever, at all. Then she storms out muttering “Nothing like his brother....”

Pedro watches Dillon and Shawna leave, seeing far too much.  “Hombre, pull up your pants and get your woman to buy you a belt!”  he shouts after them.  Jess shields her eyes and gapes at him, speechless.  Then she calls him rude and tells him he can keep her halibut.  “You finally give a man something to eat, chicka.”  he calls after her and, once they are both gone, he looks at Brayden.  “So .... THAT happened?”  he frowns in disbelieving confusion.

Brayden closes his eyes and laughs and laughs. Pedro was the best person to be on the worst date with. “Holy fuck. That was beyond extra…...how? I mean good god….let’s take this food and booze and get more and go chill somewhere less fancy. Maybe Gareth likes halibut and we can crash his sweats on the couch party.”

Pedro also starts laughing, possibly before the door properly closes on his date.  “Dios mio!  I don’t know … just … Dios.”  he shakes his head and then nods.  “That sounds like a great idea, mi amigo.”  he looks for the waiter and the to go meals … all four of them.  “As long as we don't watch a  fucking romance, I’m all for it.”

Once they’ve stocked up on more booze and walked to Brayden’s house he offers Gareth the halibut and Gareth happily takes it. It seems his mom has gone out at this point, possibly with Nico. So Brayden makes the three of them each a rum and coke and then in the livingroom with the food they’ll eat from boxes now he opens the DVD cabinet up and says “No romance movies….well most of Tarantino...I mean there is some but it’s fucked up….or Fight Club...same deal. Silence of the Lambs? Jurassic Park...the first one of course…Snakes on a Plane?”

Gareth hears the word no romance after being given Pedro’s dismissed date’s dinner “That bad was it?” He snickers.

Pedro has gone with Brayden and he noticed that the wine went straight in the fridge while the Don Q was mixed with coke.  He takes a couple of swallows and sighs in bliss.  He holds up a hand the moment Snakes on a Plane is mentioned.  “That one!  Yes, I am being a petty bitch.  I just need to see a purse dog die.”  he looks at Gareth.  “Well MY date … Jess … came right out at the table and asked me if I wanted kids.  But before I could tell her my sperm count, Shawna’s fucking ex comes in and sweeps Shawna away, showing us all his hairy ass as he did it.”  He is in many ways exactly like his mother.

Brayden laughs at Pedro and nods along with his retelling of their awful date “Yeah...what he said...can’t get any worse.”

Gareth winces and laughs “Oh…” he moans. “Dillon….yeah Brayden you know Chelle hit that….Dillon that is...thought you knew….”

Brayden was getting the disk out to put in the DVD player and he fumbled it and had what looked like a near anaphylactic attack “Ah…..what….why would you even tell me that….mother fucker….” He finally gets the disk in and then stands up and downs his drink.

“Motherfucker…...and motherfuckin snakes on a  motherfuckin plane…” Gareth snorted.

Brayden makes retching sounds and goes to the kitchen coming back with the bottle. “Ok let’s talk about Pedro’s sperm count instead… Jesus. I can’t believe Jess asked you that.”

Pedro listens and gapes as it is revealed that Braydens mother had been with Dillon.  “Madre de Dios!”  he crosses himself and takes another drink. “Now I know what to call Dillion when he installs the toilets in the hospital expansion.”  he snorts and laughs when Brayden wants to talk about his sperm count.  “I can’t believe that either.”  he rolls his eyes.  “I guess she thinks since I have so many siblings I can make them just as well as my father can.”  he rolls his eyes.  “She is that … stereotype of that old school teacher who has to have babies because her biological clock is ticking … “  he snorts.  “And if the way she looked at Dillons crack shes never seen anyone naked except her fucking dog ….  Oh god … the vision the vision!”  he holds his glass out and shakes it wanting more rum.

Gareth is drinking the slowest and holds up a hand as Brayden pours for himself and Pedro “Still on my first but by all means you guys….I may leave you to yoru movie and go watch something else upstairs. No offence….just not in the Snakes mood today. But enjoy.” He toasts them and wanders off.

Brayden snorts “Oh sure drop a hairy cherry bomb on me and then scamper off to the meadows. See ya Gare.” He drops into a seat on the couch with Pedro and clinks his glass to Pedro’s and then downs it “Fuck it, let’s get blitzed. In honour of your tea totaling naked dog washing baby pushing date from hell….and mine who ditched….”

Pedro nods to Gareth as he heads upstairs.  “Vaya con dios, man.” then he clinks his glass with Brayden and laughs.  “Yours was simpler.  I’m halfway mad Angel didn’t warn me … but he probably didn’t know more than she’s not a bad teacher.  Oy!  I hope she doesn’t take it out on my siblings.”  he shakes his head again and drinks.  “I love this movie, but now it will be even funnier.  At least the chicka doesn’t give the dog a bath in the airplane bathroom sink.”  he rolls his eyes and sits back to watch.

Brayden snorts “She might. Sick the dog on your brother. Attack poodle?” He sips his drink too “Betcha Jess would wash Lulu in an airport bathroom. Oh man….I was actually ready you know. I wasn’t even all that into Shawna. I was just ready to be out there…..I think that’s the bummer for me. It’s stupid…” He sips and watches.

Pedro watches the famous singer germaphobe and snorts about what Brayden was saying.  “I’ll warn him.  He takes another deep drink.  “And she would.”  he rolls his eyes.  “I know you were ready.  She didn’t set you back too bad, I hope.”  he sips his drink this time.  “Next time, you should screen them.  Hand out a questionnaire.  ‘Do you have any unresolved relationships in your past’ sort of questions.”  he smirks.  “Or just ask me to question them.”  He watches the germaphobe autograph a womans breast and rolls his eyes.

Brayden cringes at the boob signing “Gawd…” And then laughs at some of the next parts “This movie is so bad it’s good.” He sighs “No...she didn’t set me back. In a way it makes me want to try again with someone who’s not hung up on anyone else. It reminded me I actually like dating, spending time with women...just in general.” He takes a long drink and points “We should ask questions of eachother’s potentials and then send them to the other prescreened.” He laughs hard.

Pedro laughs.  “Yes … it really is bad.  But its a damn fun movie.”  he nods and smiles.  “Good .. that’s progress.”  he takes another drink and grins.  “We really should.  Of course one would have to be ‘You don’t mind me having time with my best friend, do you?’ because some things I’m not willing to give up.”  he drinks some more as they continue to watch.

Brayden nods “Totally. I’m not interested in a woman who wants to just cocoon. I have a  feeling that might have been the deal if you had hit it off with Jess….just you and her and the pooch. So yeah guys nights and also someone who gets along with you….my Mom...god help me Gareth. And hopefully I can stand her family and friends.” He laughs “I wish the same for you…..and your family is huge man. What do you even do when they all hate someone’s boyfriend or girlfriend?”

Pedro drinks and refills.  “Oh I’d probably be under the pooch.”  he rolled his eyes.  “And yes, in my family it helps if they like someone.  But … if I was really deeply in love … like Angel … I bet you anything if the family hated Ziggy, Angel would still be with her.  Does that make sense?”

Brayden nods “Yeah...I mean love is a powerful thing. I can’t imagine them not liking Ziggy though. She’s pretty awesome.” Then there’s more snakes on the plane and Samuel L Jackson is saying “motherfucking snakes on the motherfucking plane” Brayden grins “I swear they wrote this entire movie so he could just keep saying that…”

Pedro had cheered when the snake killed the dog and refused to feel guilty about it one bit.  It was now his favorite part of the movie even above the infamous Samuel L Jackson line.  “I believe it.”  he chuckles.  “Man this movie is so freakin amazing!”

Brayden snorts “Always been more of a cat person. Dogs can be cute but cats are just smarter and they have attitude which I don’t know makes you respect them. Definitely not a snake person after this...but yeah amazing.” He downs another drink and then refills them. Then he’s starting to slur a bit. Brayden is not really a big guy, taller than both his parents but a slight build. He pats Pedro on the shoulder “You’re such a good friend...my best friend…..dude we’re gonna find soulmates one day….with no dogs and no hairy assed exes. Hey you know what?” He forgets he said it immediately and repeats it “Hey you know what…..we should go to the thing….you know the winter thing….at the place….they have women there…..” He starts laughing at himself as he struggles to make sense.

Pedro nods as he kills his other drink.  He’s drinking faster than Brayden and starting to feel the Don Q.  “That!  Cats!”  he proclaims.  “Attitude, they don’t hang all over you and they don’t ned to be washed in sinks and tubs!”  He doesn’t mind the idea of washing a dog in a tub … that’s why they have outdoor tubs.  As his drink is refilled, Brayden pats him on the shoulder.  “You are my best friend too.”  he proclaims, his voice not slurring too much, but he’s that kind of drunk.  “And we will … BEAUTIFUL women, no dogs.  A nice cat who lives and lets live.”  his eyes light up about the winter thing.  “I am singing at the winter thing.” he announces, waving his finger with emphasis.  “With mi familia.  You put on a coat and come watch me and we will look at all the beautiful women afterwards.”  he pauses, considering something seriously.  “You put clothes on under that coat, or Mama will yell at you.”  he advises.  “OH!  Then after we can get food … and more alcohol and come here …  Or watch the crowds from the clinic site.”  he shrugs.  “Watch the women from on high.”  he laughs.

Brayden chuckles “I hope they have railings if we’re drinking this.... hello Don Q... you are a sneaky mother fucker. Maybe we can get little baskets and if we see a pretty lady we just ask her to get in and pull her up. Is that too creepy. It didn’t sound creepy in my head. It sounded....fluffy and robust.” He thinks hard “I’m not sure that’s the word I’m looking for....” And he tips over laughing into Pedro.

Pedro smiles.  “Don Q is a beloved Puerto Rican drink.  Welcome to the family!”  he cheers and then seems to consider.  “How small a woman are we talking about?”  he asks.  “Nahhhh  we are strong men!  We can pull her up!”  he makes a muscle and laughs.  “Fluffy like fat?”  he wonders and Brayden falls laughing into him.  He falls back with Brayden on top of him.

Brayden keeps laughing and pulls himself back up to sitting “Fluffy like a cat…..but maybe a fat cat? A woman and her fat cat…..in a basket….fuck I’m drunk aren’t I? But yeah we can pull them up…..maybe before we get too wasted.” He chuckles.

Pedro laughs and falls off of the couch when Brayden gets off of him.  “A fat cat is a loved cat!”  he proclaims.  Somehow his drink did not spill.  He straightens himself up on the floor, leaning back on the couch.  “You ARE drunk, but do not feel bad.  I am too.”  he toasts.  “To women and their fat cats.  May we be strong enough to lift them.”  and he knocks back some more.

Brayden is hysterical with laugher and tips back his drink and then tips right over on the floor beside his drunken buddy and all he can say as he raises his empty glass is “Amen brother….amen.” Not that he’s religious. He’s just reached a spiritual plane with Don Q, failed dates and the promise of fluffy felines and their companions. It might actually be the underworld….or simply the undercouch as he’s begun to nest under his.