Sasha had grabbed a quick shower after their family visit with Lisette and changed into clean clothes. He was in a pair of old jeans and his other white old school Winnipeg Jets t-shirt. Sasha had a love of triathlons but hadn’t heard about one on Alexandra yet. He had seen runners go by in the early morning though, his doggy detective cop acquaintances among them. He tied up his usual black and white trainers at the door waiting for Rene. They had timed it so Cath had already gone out with Taffy to meet up with Aislin for a walk at the park so she wouldn’t try to tag along. Gen had gone to see Dante. Their parents seemed to think it was sweet that the brothers were on their own outing so they were leaving well enough alone too.
Rene played it cool the whole time. He sent a text to Tristan that was short and read nervous to him;
I’m telling my brother. Do you still want to see this clusterfuck?
He sent it and continued to try and not look nervous until after Cath went out with Taffy and even Gen was gone. Only the adults remained, not including Sasha. But finally, they left the house, going around on Academy to 4th and finally making it to Tristan’s house. He walked up the steps, took a deep breath and rang the bell and waited, still too anxious to talk to his own brother.
Tristan had replied within minutes:
I’m here for you. It’s on like Alderaan. Feel free to head this way or tell me where to meet you guys. I’m just goofing around with some old Minecraft mods. You got this Rene.
Tristan was just at his laptop in black track pants and an old grey Cedar Point t-shirt that he had found by luck in the thrift shop in his size. They used to sell them at the lighthouse. This was a shirt he hand-washed because he knew he could never get another one. He heard the doorbell and started for it before his parents could intercept “I got it! And see you later!”
Sasha had seen Rene’s friend Tristan in passing but he’d been so busy they hadn’t properly met. He was really curious as to what was so serious Rene needed backup to tell him? Had he chosen a life of petty crime all of a sudden? Gotten someone pregnant? Killed a frog? The door opened and Tristan was behind it, stepping casually into a pair of black flip flops and towards them.
“Hey...Sasha right?” Tristan stuck out a hand to shake and then smiled between Sasha and Rene.
Sasha shook the hand “Yeah hi. Nice to actually meet you. You seem way too polite to be a drug lord so I’m going to strike that off my list of concerns.”
Tristan laughed a bit “I could probably get you hooked on some video games….D&D?” He jokes lightly but he did know what Rene wanted to tell his brother. “Hey Rene.” He gave him an encouraging look. “Which way are we headed?”
Rene was a bit more relaxed knowing he wouldn’t have to face it completely alone. He smiled, but was silent as Tristan and Sasha introduced them and almost laughed at his brother's drug lord comment. Then Tristan asks which way they’re headed and Rene stares like a deer caught in the headlights. He hadn’t thought that far ahead. “I …. Um …. “
Sasha looked amused by Tristan and understood why this guy ended up fast friends with Rene. They had very similar senses of humour. He laughed “I’m sure you could.” Sasha looks around realizing Rene doesn’t seem to have a plan.
Tristan looks between the brothers, both newer to the island and knows Rene is preoccupied so he steps up and gives some direction “Beaulieus….allow me.” He gestures in the direction of the school and begins to walk that way.
Sasha shrugs and smiles and follows “Cedar Point….on your shirt. That’s the other town that had a really bad quake….before the fog. Is that where you're from Tristan?” He was trying to recall all the details from Seamus breaking it down for him.
Rene follows Tristan, half listening to anything he has to say. The rest of him is chiding himself for acting like this is some terrible life altering secret. His brother had a gay best friend. His father had a gay brother. But it wasn’t exactly his immediate family he was worried about. His mother only a little .. she’d been so happy lately. Did her acceptance of Sasha’s friend extend to one of her children?
Tristan stops and turns briefly looking at Sasha “Yeah that’s where I’m from. You know about the fog? Well that makes things a little easier. Who told you Sasha?” He gestures at Rene.”I told Rene.”
Sasha exhales and looks between them “I wasn’t sure Rene would know what I meant….yeah Seamus. Seamus is my best friend….I guess you guys are cousins through marriage right?” He seems relieved Rene knows and smiles at him “Was that what you wanted to tell me? I know….Dad knows, Gen too I’m sure from Dante. I don’t know about Mom and Cath but we could try to tell them.”
As they get to the end of the street, Tristan veers off the sidewalk before the school to a sort of tide break area with giant rocks “Yeah I’m a Reinhardt...uh hang on Sasha, you’re the shoe dog guy right? You went on a ride along with my Dad and Uncle Ryan.” He climbs up on the rocks “Watch your step…” He’s headed along side the school a bit and moving to a nice big one before sitting down at one end of it. He’s about to stop chattering too so Rene can do what he needs to do.
Sasha points as he climbs after “Yes I am that guy!” He looks back for Rene and his answer about whether he was wanting this walk to tell him about the fog.
Rene moves with Sasha and Tristan to the rocks and stands looking out at the water. Sasha asks if he’d wanted to tell him about the fog and Rene turns. “No . no .. nothing like that.” he wrings his hands. “I don’t know why I’m so nervous. You won’t hate me.” he assures himself. “But … the other .. maybe. Tante MC for sure…” he merely stammers saying absolutely nothing but perhaps cluing Sasha in a little bit at least.
Sasha looks very worried for Rene now “I could never hate you...Rene...what is it?” He puts a hand on his brother’s back “OK Tante MC doesn’t live here so just focus on our family. Is this a religious thing?” Sasha tilts his head “Is this a ….” He doesn’t want to assume but Tante MC makes him think about the small minded nature of where they moved from. “Rene I will love you no matter what….it’s ok.”
Tristan has sat down but watching Rene’s struggle wants to spring to his feet and hug him. But this is between he and his brother now. And it looks like Sasha more than has being a good brother covered so far.
Rene blows out a breath. “No … she isn’t .. but … it’s not religious exactly … I mean I can’t …” he looks over at Tristan and gathers up his strength then looks at Sasha’s feet. “I’m … I’m gay, Sasha …” he whispers into the wind. There it was out.
Sasha waits it out, hears Rene say what he was cluing into and then smiles. Then if Rene lets him he’ll just grab him in a big tight hug “Rene….that’s awesome. I love you. Thank you for telling me….for trusting me.”
Now Tristan can’t help but get a little teary eyed watching them. He keeps quiet but if Rene gets hugged and faces him he’ll give him a big grin and then wipe at his eye trying not to make that part look like a big deal.
Rene begins to sob in relief when Sasha hugs him. “You’re my big brother idiot.” he sniffs and then looks over at Tristan wiping away a tear. “OK .. you were right … I didn’t get dragged down into hell, or any of the things I was afraid of.” he blows out another breath, but looks at Sasha. “But . could you .. not tell anyone? Please? I’ll tell them … I promise … just … later .. maybe after I meet the man of my dreams and we’ve adopted our sixth child … or maybe even fifth…”
Sasha pulls back and lets go of Rene but keeps a hand on his shoulder for a moment longer “It’s yours to tell when you’re ready and to who you’re ready to share it with. This is not St. Pierre though. Please don’t be afraid to be who you are Rene.” He laughs a bit “Six kids huh? You better marry a Reinhardt.” Then he looks over at Tristan and laughs again “No offence.,,,”
Tristan stands up now and nods at Rene “No hellfires or damnation. Just a cool brother who clearly loves you.” Then Sasha tells Rene he better marry a Reinhardt for his 6 kids plan and says no offence at Tristan. Tristan holds up his hands “None taken, but I draw the line at 4 so I don’t think I’m the dream man.” He jokes back. When Sasha and Rena let go he walks over to Rene and reaches to hug him if he can. “Told you you got this.”
Rene looks at Sasha and nods. “I know it’s not. I guess I just ... Tanta is like this … force, you know. And you remember ... she wants me to join the priesthood because I am such a good Catholic boy except for that whole zombie phase I went through. I think that all made me panic.” he laughs and is about to turn to Tristan when Sasha tells him he’d have to marry a Reinhardt and sees Tristan's reaction, modulating his own. He isn’t sure how in or out of the closet Tristan even is. But he might argue with Tristan if they were alone about the dream man possibilities. He’d been in more than one since their initial sleepover. So he doesn’t reply at all, just hugging Tristan and telling him. “You did. But I couldn’t have done it without you.” he hugs hm formly and for a while. Then he parts. “Do I own you a Toonie? I can’t remember.” he laughs.
Tristan chuckles “I don’t think we were betting on it but here for you anytime.” He hugged tightly until Rene let go first. Now he stepped back with a little sheepish smile “Maybe you should invite that aunt here. I can think of all kinds of folks that would challenge her ideas of how the world works.” He shrugs a bit “My family included.”
Sasha sighs about MC “You don’t have to be a priest just because someone thinks you should. Maybe MC should have been a nun.” He watches Rene and Tristan hug and is so glad Rene has a friend like this guy. Then he tilts his head briefly as the hug goes on for awhile. Ah...he’d hug Seamus that long if his buddy was upset. He laughs at Tristan suggesting the town might help MC learn “ Our family too apparently. Maman told her off at our uncles funeral. Not about homophobia but hey it’s a start. I don’t think Maman would put up with Tante MC saying anything not nice to any of us.” He looks again at Tristan “But I know about your cousin, Seamus’s older brother and his boyfriend. I’m very much an ally or try to be. To Rene of course now. And my childhood best friend came out in our small Catholic town. Love is love.”
Tristan smiled broadly at Sasha “That’s really good to hear. Because yeah Logan and Kurt...my Dad had male partners before my Mom. And well...” he casually points at himself “Me. Which is why I know how Rene feels. Well except all the religious stuff.”
Now Sasha smiles again and takes another look between Rene and Tristan “Ok extra awesome.”
Rene smiles, but then scoffs as Tristan suggests inviting their aunt MC to visit. “I don’t think there is enough wine in all of France to get my mother that drunk.” he looks at his brother. “Oh, I didn’t know about Seamus’s brother. The firefighter, right? There are so many.” he looks at Tristan. “I think it would almost be funny since your Dad loves your mom so much its bleeding out of his eyeballs that she’d never imagine he had ever been any other way.” he blows out a breath. “She wanted my uncle to be a priest too. And one of my cousins. Maybe more than one.” he considers and looks at Sasha. “Annette is her favorite and it was in the family bulletin that she works for the Church now. It’s only as a secretary but … maybe it’s a step to her being a nun?”
Tristan laughs “Bleeding out his eyeballs. That’s both amusing and disturbing. Technically Logan is bi and Kurt is gay but again it’s a spectrum.” He sighs about the aunt “Yeah sounds like she needs a few hobbies. Geez.” The wind is strong today and it’s whipping the wave spray at Tristan on the side of him closest to the ocean. He casually steps back a bit and wipes at the side of his face and arm.
Sasha has his back to the ocean and the back of his hair and shirt are getting misty “You And Maman might be the only ones reading MC’s family bulletins. I swear I want to write an anti-Christmas letter one year to mock hers. Maybe it could just be Taffy’s accomplishments from his point of view . Cath could help. Dear family, I have recently learned not to shit on the floor. Leather shoes are delicious. Hoping for more beef bones in the garbage next time.” He grins “All with pictures of course.”
Tristan snorts “You’re going to take a picture of shit?”
Rene is standing and facing Tristan, so his side is also being sprayed. “Tante MC needs to … she needs a hobby, that’s without a doubt.” he nearly says she needs to get laid, but the mental image alone would scare him half to death. He laughs at the idea of a Taffy newspaper. “I think that would be a great idea. I’ll mention it to Cath. Hell I might volunteer to take the pictures.” he wipes the side of his face and sighs deeply. “Thanks again guys. I feel a lot better.” he licks his lips. “There’s .. one more person I’d like to talk to …” he looks at Sasha. “Father O’Keeffe … I wonder if he’s home … would you guys come with me to talk to him?”
Sasha looks delighted about Rene taking the pictures “No Tristan, Rene is going to take the pictures of shit. Make sure you get some steam or a glistening in the sunlight angle.” He says with horrid joy. Then he shrugs “Sure we can talk to the priest. Whatever helps, Rene.”
Tristan shudders a bit at Sasha’s descriptive comments about excrement. “Gross... but funny.” He nods at Rene “For you, anything.” His tone is genuine. In his heart he’s becoming aware he means that in many ways. But today he’s standing by Rene for whatever makes things feel right with his identity.
Sasha shoots Tristan a little sideways glance at his answer and then starts to clamber back across the rocks in the direction of the sidewalk, giving his brother a bit of space to reply privately to Tristan if he wants to. And he grins to himself and is now completely shipping Rene and Tristan. He can’t help it.
Rene looks at Sasha. “Photography is not my art. You know that.” he doesn’t really elaborate on his art, but continues. “I’ll do my best tho.” he grins at his brothers support and smiles when Tristan offers his. As Sasha clambors back up the rocks, he pauses and places a hand on Tristan's arm. “Thanks Tris… for everything.” he rubs the arm a bit then takes his hand away. After a moment, he follows Sasha and when they are back on the sidewalk, he heads down fourth towards the gardens. The buildings here don’t match the rest of the block. One of the houses is missing. But he begins to cut through the gardens, bursting with summer goodness.
Tristan smiles at the brothers banter and then notices Sasha’s glance before he wanders ahead. Shit. Captain Obvious Tristan. Then Rene’s hand moves to his arm and he’s thanking him. Tristan feels a warmth growing from the touch of Rene’s hand. As he rubs his hand a bit Tristan feels his cheeks go warm too “Anytime...” He says with a little swallow after. He battles the urge to slide his hand over top of Rene’s and then the battle is lost not by his own will power but by Rene removing the hand and walking off. Tristan exhales And follows. They cut through the gardens.
Sasha is happily lumbering and stoops to pick a cherry tomato and eat it “Shhh nobody make me confess this. I love these.”
Rene moves through the garden, watching his brother pick and eat a cherry tomato. “Then you owe me one.” he announces. “And you better pay. Tristan’s dad is a cop. Grand theft cherry tomato.” they leave the garden and go past the houses to Central and then along the back of the Municipal Center. “I love all these wooded areas.” he looks into the trees. “I wonder what kinds of snakes this island is home to.” he muses.
Tristan laughs “Grand theft cherry tomato. Yeah when the cops have a slow day right?” He raises a brow about the snakes “Probably mostly garter snakes I’d guess.”
Sasha casually palms a small handful of snap peas “You guys gonna write me a citation? I think I’m just hungry. All I had to eat today were three croissants.” He looks to the woods “ Reptile boy will find out and report back. Then fill our room with them.”
Tristan’s eyes go wide and then he laughs at the continued garden grazing “Sasha you’re like a tall hobbit. Only three eh?” He teases and then winces “That’s too many snakes in one place.”
Sasha beams “I am a hobbit. I once ate an entire pizza in the bathtub. Mind you that was after the playoffs and we had won.” Then he has to make a crack “Motherfuckin snakes in our motherfuckin room?” He crunches on two pea pods.
Tristan groans and face palms.
Rene smirks at Tristan. "How exciting can being a cop here be?" it seems like such a sleepy little town to him. He snatches a few snap peas from Sasha. "They are good croissants." and he looks at Tristan. "That would only be to dreak out my sister and keep her out of my room ... well once it becomes my room. I thnk I might like a gopher snake, but only if I can find any around." Then Sasha is making cracks and he moans. "First I remember the pizza ... you are not well sometimes and two..." he hits his brother in the shoulder as they see the small apartment building. He leads them through the side yard to the back and nocks on a door.
Liam O’keeffe is inside doing some reading. He looks up at the knock and sees through the glass door the three young men. Opening it he greets Rene. “Ah Rene. So good to meet you.” he looks at the other two. “Well this has to be your brother and this … you might be Tristan … Michael’s son .. or am I wrong?” he is dressed in black jeans and a grey hoodie. No jewelry except for the ring on his finger. “Either way . come on in, boys and make yourself comfortable. Theres food in the refrigerator … chicken and beef. Ribs and some chili. Can I get you anything?” the apartment is small with a large couch as well as a small two seat dining table and chairs. It is a small and spartan apartment.
Sasha had made one more crack before they were in the priest’s apartment “It’s exciting. I was a doggy detective. We solved the crime and got our mutt.”
Tristan had added his bit before they got in as well “Believe it or not there are a few real crimes too...less fun but it’s everywhere.”
Now Sasha looks surprised that Father O’Keefe knows them but he has been to the house. Their mother was big on family pictures and school pictures on display. “Hello Father. Nice to meet you. I am Sasha. Are you really offering us food?” He looks hopeful. The man had said chili and ribs after all.
Tristan nods politely “Yes Father, that’s me. I’m fine thanks for the offer.” Rene might have noticed Tristan often politely says no to food at other people’s homes or from sources he’s not familiar with. He’s always extremely polite about it though. But now he looks at Rene, which is why they came here.
Rene hears about real crime in Alexandra while rolling his eyes at Sasha, doggy detective. He's interested, but that would have to be a conversation for another time. He steps in, hears Sasha immediately ask for food and rolls his eyes again before looking at the priest. “Father, I was wondering about … well … your view … I mean the Church’s views on .. um … homosexuality these days. I mean … has it changed or … what?” he chickened out at the last second on saying he was gay without knowing if this priest really was like all the rest.
Liam grins at them, moving back to let them into the small space. “I get around and have an excellent memory.” he tells both Tristan and Sasha and then moves to his small dining table and sits, motioning to the refrigerator. “I did offer you food. People bringing a priest food is almost an occupational hazard in my line of work.” he chuckles. “If I ate it all I’d be too fat to get through my own door. So help yourself. Plates are in the cabinet, utensils in the drawers.” and he then looks at Rene and listens to the question. He purses his lips. “Well, that is two seperate answers.” he replies. “The Church tells us that homosexuality is a sin not to be tolerated.” he shrugs. “However I have two gay brothers … buth stuck in the closet because of closed minded idiots. But even before, I had a hard time understanding that particular sin, especially in these modern times.” he picks up a mug and sips. “That probably didn't even answer your question. Was there a reason you wanted to know? A friend or relative that is gay and Catholic?” he is actually savvy enough not to move his eyes to either Sasha or Tristan, thus perhaps accusing them of anything.
Sasha does go and load up a plate from the generous man’s fridge. But he’s back in the room and beside Rene for the answers and subsequent and pointed follow up question “I’m sorry your brothers don’t feel safe being open.” He’s both commenting and encouraging his own “It sounds like you have a more open mind.” He sort of toasts with a section of ribs “And seriously thanks.”
Tristan keeps quiet but stands on the other side of Rene. He’s only gay, not gay and Catholic. Part of him fears for Rene. Religion was a powerful force in his life. Father O’Keefe seems cool but if Rene feels like his faith is lost what will he do with that?
Rene’s eyes actually go a little wide to learn that Father O’Keeffe has not just one but two gay brothers. “But they came out to you? Their priest brother? No offence.” he sighs and drops his eyes. “I mean … What about communion? Confession?” he searches the floor for an answer and finally comes out with. “It’s me, Father. But I’m Catholic…”
Liam looks at the plate Sasha makes and raises a brow. “Son, you can help me make sure none of this food goes to waste.” he then looks at Rene. “Eventually they did, yes. The Priesthood sometimes makes them keep things from me. But then they realized I am a bit of a radical priest. If I can get away with protesting for and with the Indiginous, they figured they could trust me with their secrets.” Rene gets into things like confession, but finally just admits that it is he who is gay. He motions to his couch. “Sit down. All of you.” he encourages and whether they do or not, looks at Rene. “I will always give you communion, Rene. And I will always hear your confession and give you absolution if your sins require it.” he holds up a finger. “But I have to warn you, I am known to be relatively laxed, since my beliefs are a bit different than the norm. So if you’re expecting a day's worth of Our Fathers and Hail Marys because you had unclean thoughts about a man you aren't married to … I may disappoint you.”
Tristan quietly sits down quietly on one end of the couch. “That actually sounds pretty cool Father O’Keeffe. Not Catholic but from everything I have heard about priests you are different...in a good way.” He smiles at the man and then at Rene, almost hopefully.
Sasha sits at one of the chairs at the table “That’s actually really awesome.” He looks at Rene “How are you doing?” He qualifies to the priest “He just came out to me today. But I’m thinking the rest might be in stages. But hell Rene you just told a priest. You’re braver than a lot of people.”
Rene looks relieved and finally sits on the couch. He looks at Sasha and nods, his relief clear. Maybe this was a gift from God. An understanding Catholic priest.
Liam smiles a bit. “I’m a radical. Fortunately for me, I have some … resources that at least keep me from being excommunicated.” he doesn't elaborate. He looks from Tristan to Sasha and then to Rene finally. “Well, good on you for coming out. So many don’t and live lies for year upon decade.” he sighs softly. “My belief is that it is better to be true to yourself as well as to God. The Bible was written by men. I just refuse to believe God would punish good people because they loved someone of the same gender. So … I don’t.” he glances at Sasha. “How is the food, Sasha?”
Tristan looks visibly relieved as Rene becomes more relaxed. He was worried for Rene, afraid he would close himself off to who he is...afraid he’d close off to him too. Not that they were a thing. But it dawned on him how many levels he was relieved on. He smiled at Father O’Keeffe “I like your view on how god would see love. I have the same bias as Rene.” He admits. This priest put him at ease. “I’m glad Rene has you to come to about his faith.”
Sasha points at the now clean ribs in answer, his mouth still full. Finally he chews it all, swallows and speaks “Really good. Just a little kick in the sauce too.” He listens to Father O’Keefe and nods, smiling “I totally agree. All the genders, all the love.” He observes Tristan again and looks like he wants to say something but then just smiles at him and then looks at Rene “You got a good hearted friend here.”
Rene is more relaxed and he now looks around the small space, realizing that it’s a one bedroom apartment, but really small. They’re in a combination kitchen/dining/living area. He smiles. “Thanks for putting me at ease, Father. The priests back where we used to live were … so … Catholic. I’ve felt like this for a while now, but .. was scared to say anything, even when my brother’s best friend came out.” he tightens his jaw. “They ran him out of town.” he looks around at his brother and his .. friend? “I’m still not sure about telling my family. I mean, there’s no point. It’s not like I’m in love and want to introduce them to my parents, even if I honestly think they’d welcome him with open arms. But my whole family isn’t like that. Some of them would just …” he grins and looks at Tristan. “Yea, he’s great. If it weren’t for Tristan I’d still be alone with all this shit.” he still doesn’t know what made him tell Tristan. And now Tristan was surely still nursing his broken heart after that guy in Australia.
Liam nods. “I’m glad he has me, too.” he admits. “I’ve seen … terrible things happen with men and women caught between their faith and their sexuality. Terrible things.” he blows out a breath. “It sounds terrible, but it is better to run sometimes than fight. And I’m a Jesuit.” he laughs lightly. Then he sobers. “Some of them would just … be horrible human beings, telling you that you will burn in hell because you go against God?” he snorts. “Those people don’t understand God the way I do.” he growls a bit in frustration, but then seems to shake it off and looks at Sasha. “Oh those ribs are good. I just can’t eat as much as my little makeshift parish here seems to think I should. Yes, I am thin, but that is more genetics than lack of good appetite.
Tristan looks between Rene and Father Liam and Sasha as Rene talks. He frowns when he talks about how Sasha’s friend was run out of town. He listens keenly to predictions about his family and muses a bit. His parents were so easy with all this he barely had to work at it in his mind. He acknowledges how safe his life is this way and feels compassion for Rene. Then both Sasha and Rene talk about him and he blushes a bit “No one should be alone with any of this, ever.” Tristan is also fascinated by Father Liam. He’s like a beardless funky wizard for the church.
Sasha nods along and then looks pained at Rene “Marc was why you didn’t say anything until now?” He looks heartbroken for his little brother like he was for his old friend. “And Rene, we don’t need to welcome any family with open arms that wouldn’t be kind to anyone you could fall in love with. They’ll have to go through me.” He says resolutely. He beams at Father Liam “And here I’ve been trying to leave the church….you know it you or people who thought like you ran the whole show they wouldn’t be able to keep up with the size of the congregations.”
Rene smiles at Tristan and then looks at Sasha with a slow nod. “I was actually coming lose to talking to you when he came out .. and then … they moved.” he shrugged. “I didn’t want to be why our parents had to leave a place they loved.” he snorts. “Good luck with some of em…” he murmurs and then stops and looks at Sasha about leaving the church. “Why? Because of Paige?”
Liam watches these kids and is especially interested in Sasha. “Possibly .. I’ve prayed the Church would catch up but its moving with glacial slowness.” he grins. “You know … you don’t even have to ‘leave’ the Church. I mean .. the community is one thing of course, but I sort of like what I’ve got here in Alexandra. No church building and some of he people I speak to about religion aren’t even Catholic. It’s almost like being a peacetime Chaplain.” he chuckles.
Sasha sighs at Rene “Well thankfully we moved here anyway then? Shit..” Then he looks at Father Liam “Sorry…” He has to try the chili before he can explain his stuff with the church and does an almost mime show of happy food reactions “Oh these people LOVE you Father. Wow...anyhow.” He gestures in the air with his fork “Paige, my girlfriend, love of my life. She’s not religious. Some family baggage stuff I think I only know a tiny piece of really about her Dad’s parents being Methodist assholes…” He puts his hand over his mouth “Ah sorry...pardon my English Father.” Then he goes on “But no it was feeling empty before. I mean I believe in God….but all the extra bits and the rituals and the rules bum me out. That and after Marc…..MC, our aunt. She feels she’s following God’s path, but she’s so unkind, even to her own kids, to our mother, to us, except Rene, she favours Rene but as you can see that’s equally damaging. Right?” He looks at Rene for confirmation. “And the whole sin thing…..I can’t confess things that are supposed to be..” He makes finger quotes “Bad or impure” Unquotes “But make me feel pure absolute love for someone. That makes no sense to me. I’m not married to Paige but I will marry her one day. I know that. She knows that. So how is it bad if we make love? Because I’m not planning on stopping…” He admits fully and then looks apologetically at Tristan and Rene “Probably more than you guys wanted to know..” He laughs and eats some more.
Tristan feels compelled to reach over and try to put a hand on Rene’s shoulder for a moment when he realizes how long he’s held onto all of this alone. If he can, it’s brief and looks like platonic support, which it is as well. He looks curious about Father Liam’s approach to community ministry “My Gran’s really glad you’re here. Kaitlin, well she’s my Gran recently over the last few years but she is.” He smiles. Then he laughs at Sasha and the way he communicates and smiles as he goes on. His eyes go a little wide about what Sasha says about love and sex but then he nods, it made sense to him intellectual even if he wasn’t there yet in his life. “No worries Sasha. It sounds like you two are very in love.” He smiles.
Rene nods emphatically about their aunt. “Well, she also favors Annette because she is close to the church. Not a nun but she works for the church or did before Covid. But she’s been pushing at me to become a priest. And I just … it took me a long time to realize I didn’t want to and part of that was coming to the realization that while I can find girls pretty they just don’t .. you know … do it for me.” he is comforted by Tristans hand on his shoulder, however brief it was. “And yes they are .. and she is really pretty, too.”
Liam chuckles at Sasha's floundering. "Son, if swearing was that big a sin, half my brethren would be spending half their time confessing it." he tells the young man. "In other words, I don't give a fuck if you swear." he drops a wink. "As for you and your girlfriend, I am assuming that your love is strictly between the two of you and that you understand that. The Church's stance is of course that is is the manifestation of love at the wrong times and for the wrong reasons that is the sin, which is how being gay gets blacklisted. For you and Paige … there are reasons to wait and there are reasons not to wait, if you ask me. And one thing in this day and age that the CHurch seems to conveniently overlook is things like marriage when neither party is a virgin. They still prefer annulment before remarriage but that is a whole different can of worms.” he winces when the aunt comes into the conversation. “I don’t know what she thinks God’s plan is for her, but pushing anyone into the priesthood is not it.” he pauses and looks at Rene. “My mother wanted me to become a priest. I loved God and wanted to serve. Then …” he looks at Sasha. “I fell in love. We didn’t wait and she got pregnant. I’d planned to join the police department, because that’s what my father and nearly all of my brothers did and then marry her. But she died and I wound up in the seminary. Now I don’t honestly know the ins and outs of that little detour in my life, but in the end I became a priest … a very radical and open minded priest, but still a priest who still takes his vows of poverty and chastity seriously.” he looks at Tristan. “Kaitlin is an incredible woman who has been through so much.” he sighs a bit. “I would have advised her to divorce her husband, but I understand the thinking of women in her time because it was the same as my mothers.”
Sasha listens as he devours the chili and then comes up for air “I wonder what Annette really thinks about all that. I feel like we don’t have real connections with those cousins...I mean Etienne. You can just ask him something and he’ll tell you point blank. But the Hebert kids...I dunno. Maybe we’re just not that close. Sometimes I think it would be useful if our thoughts would float around in the air...I mean it could also be horribly embarrassing.” He grins at what Rene says about Paige “She’s beautiful in every way. She’s my otter.” Then Father Liam says he doesn’t give a fuck if he swears and winks and Sasha almost falls off his chair laughing “Mom dieu…” He laughs some more and then calms and nods. “Yes we are committed to each other, devoted even.” He gets a curious look now “Do you feel like the church blacklisted homosexuality because people forced to live a lie eventually cracked and left their partners for the person they wanted or type of person...gender whatever?” He looks simply amazed by the story of Father Liam’s life and love “Wow….that’s huge. I’m sorry for your loss.” He looks at Tristan as the priest talks about his thoughts on his grandmother and divirce.
Tristan gives Rene a sideways glance after he shares more and nods at his words. He laughs too about the swearing and then listens with interest and blinks at some of it. That was not the expected path of any priest he had heard of “Yes sorry for your loss too.” He looks amused again by Sasha. He liked Rene’s brother, which didn’t surprise him, He gives Father Liam a knowing look about Kaitlin “That man did a lot of damage to the people I love. Divorce would have been a freedom...for them all. But I realize she couldn’t go there…..” He nods at Father Liam about his own mother. “My bio dad left when I was a baby which in the end turned out to be the nicest thing he ever did, not when it hurt my mom. But when he wasn’t in our lives...and doing worse.” He shrugs a bit and looks bitter. “Sometimes it’s hard to win either way.”
Rene shrugs when the subject of his cousins comes up. "I really only know them from the bullitens, too. Etienne is great for exactly this reason. You know exactly where you stand with him." he chuckles. "She's your otter? Yea ... that's serious." he listens to Liam's story. "Wow .. I mean ... I just .. always assumed priests and nuns were ... you know ... virgins and stuff." he blushes a little bit. For the first time in his life, he feels like a priest is human.
Liam smiles. "Devotion is wonderful. I'm very happy for you." he listens to Sasha's question about the CHurch. "That or marrying to find out your wife or husband has an affair, committing adultery. Also those who never marry and have a quote endquote roommate. Yet this is the person you love, relegated to a roommate or good friend instead of your soulmate?" he nods at the condolences. "It was a long time ago, guys .. as a matter of fact, I was around your age, Sasha." He listens to Tristan and nods. "Yes. Marriage is a commitment and all commitments are work. Compromise or die. I wish the Church could have supported Kaitlin in a divorce from that man." and then Tristan talks about his father and nods. "See ... and things have worked out for you in the end." he nods. "Life is full of Catch 22's." he now looks at Rene and laughs. "Being a virgin isn't a prerequisite to entering the Priesthood, Rene."
Tristan looks between the brothers “Otter? Is that some French Canadian thing that’s going over my head?” Then he nods about thinking priests and nuns were virgins. When Father Liam said the words relegated to good friend instead of soulmate he lets his eyes drift to Rene. Was Rene his soulmate? Where did that question come from? Tristan quickly looked back at Father Liam. “Yeah hope so.” Then he smiles a bit as Father Liam confirms the whole virginity myth.
Sasha nods at Rene and grins and then smiles at Father Liam “It is...thanks.” He notices Tristan staring at Rene and sighs. They were young and they had time to figure it out. But Sasha could see Tristan’s feelings for his brother from a mile away. He wondered if Rene saw them too. “No otters….just a me thing. They mate for life though.” Now he looks at Father Liam “How do you feel about the fact that other Christian denominations let clergy marry and or have love partners? I mean you give people advice on relationships, birth control even….does that all ever feel incongruent with the path you chose Father?”
Rene bites his lip when Father O'Keeffe talks about soulmates being considered good friends for the benefit of others and he bites his lip, nodding slowly. He winces at the new knowledge that priests don't have to be virgins. Oops.
Liam chuckles at both the revelation he just gave the boys as well as the otter reference. "That's sweet. Mating for life." he nods. Then Sasha asks him opinion od priests not being allowed to marry. “I think it would solve at least some problems within the church, especially with recruitment. It wouldn’t stop the larger problems, but it may help some smaller ones.” he blows out a breath. “It does feel incongruent sometimes, yes. But that is one I don’t see the church changing anytime soon … or ever.” he shrugs a bit. “Now did you gentlemen have more, or just the questions about homosexuality?” he grins. “And to interrogate a still relatively young Jesuit, of course.” his green eyes twinkle.
Sasha begins to stand up with his empty plate and fork “Yeah….I could see that. I mean if Rene, Rene if you really wanted to be a priest and you could marry, anyone you wanted without judgement, that would be a whole different game right?” He starts for the kitchen area “Father Liam, thank you for sharing your food. I’ll wash these.” He smiles “No other interrogations from me.”
Tristan smiles about the otter thing and nods. Then he listens to the priest and Sasha and looks curiously at Rene to see if he has more questions and about what he might say to Sasha’s hypothetical question. “I have no questions.” He confirms after Sasha.
Rens considers Father O'Keeffe's words. "It would, but also ... I'd want to be able to interfaith marry .. or marry an athiest or an agnostic ... or whoever I .. you know ... loved. And that might be pushing it. But I'm kind of over wanting to be a priest and am just happy I think I can still call myself Catholic ... even if I have to be rogue like you, Father."
Liam shakes his head at Sasha. "No need ... it gives me purpose and I've done a good job feeding a growing appetite." he listens to Rene and nods. "Smart man. The priesthood isn't for everyone and I am glad you'll stay Catholic. I know some men ..." he glances at Tristan. "Are so hurt and damaged by the church, they will probably never come back. I believe God still loves them, but it is like a child who has been abused by their parent. Love and trust out the window." He stands and heads for the door. "If any of you need anything ... you know where I am." he isn't giving them the bum rush, but he knows boys their ages will have much better things to do than hang out with a priest discussing the Church's many problems.
Tristan keeps his reaction inward about Rene’s wishes to be able to marry a non Catholic. They were 13 after all but he can see Sasha watching him again. The clever otter brother. But he smiles about the word rogue. That was a good word for Rene and Father Liam. Then Father Liam speaks directly to him after answering Rene and he’s pretty sure he know what he’s talking about “You mean Mike...my Dad.” It’s not a question really. He knows how his Dad feels. At least the priest does too. “Thanks Father Liam.”
Sasha watches Tristan closely as his brother talks about wanting to marry with an interfaith approach and then nods at Rene “Good point. And rogue Catholics for the win.” He listens to the exchange between Father Liam and Tristan and looks curious but then smiles. He sets his plate and fork now dried back in the cupboard “Yeah this was awesome. Thanks Father. Rene, we better get home for the hockey game. Go Jets go!”
Rene watches Tristan surreptitiously. At least he believes it is. ANd he smiles as Sasha cheers on rogue Catholics and starts as he realises the time. “Yea …. We’d better go.”
Liam nods at Tristan. "He and I have talked a little bit. Partly at your grandmothers insistence, but Michael doesn’t hate me nor I he. And that’s about all that matters.” he smiles at Sasha. “Thanks, Sasha. Feel free to stop by anytime to raid my fridge. They overfeed me. Again, occupational hazard. I could use the help.” He sees the boys out and is glad he was able to help. Rene may still have some hurdles ahead of him, but with such a supportive brother .. and Tristan … whatever that would turn into … he would be just fine. Or he would certainly pray that he was.
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