2020-06-05 - The Chariot of Magical Cats - Megan, Theo, Voldemort, Fred and George

Megan Brate was putting away the breakfast things after a mad dash to get Isabella to daycare.  She was just sluggish this week in the mornings, in fact she had been really tired. She piled the milk and the fruit back into the fridge and then saw a mystery tupperware lurking at the back, the ghosts of lunches past. Oh god...what even was in there? She pulled it out and peeled off the lid with a wince and then almost wretched at the smell. Old tuna salad mix...but not that old really. God, why did it smell so bad? She fought a wave of nausea. Maybe it was just bad tuna.

The cats smelled it but clearly they were delighted as Fred and George tried to climb her to get it “Boys, it’s no good….and I have plans for you two.” Three of the cats were due for shots today at the vet. The hardest part would be getting Voldemort into a carrier, twice. She opened it and shook the cat treats. Of course the 8 other cats were game for her rouse but the big black cat just started her down. She knew.

“Aw come on sweetie…” Megan pleaded. She tried throwing in a catnip toy, No luck. Finally she braced herself, put on a peach coloured hoodie with thick sleeves over her black and whote striped tshirt dress and black yoga leggings and just wrestled Voldemort in hissing and spitting. She had to contain Voldemort so the other two could be loose around her. She had one of those big bicycle/jogging strollers for Isabella. Chariot was the brand. She and Adum had bought it from Paul and Cheryl McLeod when their girls outgrew it. Now she carried Fred and George out the back door and plunked them in around the growling carrier and zipped the whole unit shut. It was a spectacle to behold her chariot of cats. Children loved it, old ladies stared twice but hey it worked. In no time she pulled up to the vet and wheeled the whole rig up to the door and began the dance of working the whole thing in.

Theodore Alvin highly approved of the ‘new normal’ taking place in vets offices.  At least in theirs.  It meant fewer humans with the pets and fewer just sitting in the waiting room.  However no, the waiting room was blissfully empty for the morning.  His brother was off on the mainland, now that the ferry was running again.  But that was fine, as Theo was more than capable of handling the morning appointment alone.  It was only yearly shots, he remembered.  He also remembered that it was the brates, which made it a bit of a crap shoot.  Some of their nine cats were darling .. but others … not so much.  Logging onto the computer, he checked the days appointments and rolled the dice.

“Craps.”  he groaned.  Voldemort, Fred and George Brate’s names greeted him.  Suddenly he wondered if his brother had known and decided it was a lesser risk to go to the mainland for supplies and possibly catch Covid-19 than deal with these three.  No …  Theo knew his brother loved him.  It had to be a coincidence.  He sighed deeply and headed into the waiting room, here they had invested in a ‘new fangled’ one cup coffee maker.  They had cheaped out, however and used filters that could use their own blends.  He took a paper cup, slid the cup in the machine and did its coffee making voodoo.  Then he sipped, headed back to the desk and looked at the schedule again.  Still Voldemort, Fred and George.  He sighed and made himself think of something … anything … nicer … and the latest Covid numbers floated through his head …  Covid 19 wasn’t so bad.  It didn’t bite or scratch or plan escapes that required an island wide cathunt.  And … he pushed the cats out of his head and sipped his coffee.

Megan looked around as the place was small and usually the vet and assistant did everything on their own. It was the two older Alvin brothers who she’d gotten to know a bit through her many felines. The door chimes went off as she walked in “Hello?” Fred and George, true to their namesakes were delighted taunting Voldemort while getting themselves all riled up. She was amused by the Chipmunk brothers and wasn’t sure which one she’d see today.

Theo heard the door and its subtle chime.  He saw Megan struggling a little with the clinic’s double doors in order to get the Chariot in.  Moving around the counter, he gets the other door so it's easier for her to get the Chariot inside.  “Good morning, Megan.”  he peers in the zipped up confines to see two Gingers staring out at him.  “Fred.  George.”  and then the carrier.  “Voldemort.”  try as he might, his voice falls a bit flat.  “Let’s get started.  That’s carrier 2, isn’t it?”  they have the weights of the Brate carriers on file … saves time.  “Let’s put you on the scale, ma’am.”  and he let’s Megan open the Chariot, not really TOO worried that Fred and George will wander the waiting room.  Then heads for the pet scale along the wall and waits for Megan to set the carrier on the scale while he inputs the weight of carrier 2..

“Oh thank you Theo.” She gets the chariot all the way through now with his help. She can hear the tone in his voice about Voldemort and doesn’t blame him. She knew her cats. She unzips the chariot and the ginger twins leap out eagerly and begin to explore every surface like they’ve never seen the vet clinic before. It was so exciting! In the meantime she lifts Voldemort to the scale for Theo “I think she’s getting a little chubby…” Voldemort has a little freakout and the carrier bounces all around on the scale “Oh fuck Voldy…..do you want me to take her out? I can tell you my weight if you promise not to share it.” She says with a giggle.

Theo isn’t fused with the twins exploring.  It was a cat thing and there was nothing that could hurt them.  As a matter of fact the floor was always littered with cat and dog toys to distract waiting pets.  Voldemort freaks out just being set on the scale and Megan offers to hold her and use her weight.  “Oh …  God ..  Please no.”  he begins to laugh.  “I never want to say you’ve gained weight and have to do the math again.”  he puts a hand on his hip.  “Does this cat make me look fat, honey?”  he arches his brow.  “And if you’ve ever asked that of Adum, I want to know because … that’s funny.”  During their conversation, Voldemort has calmed … if staring and growling counts as calm and for Voldemort it does.  He looks at the display and nods.  “Yes … looks like a slight bit of middle age spread.”  he marks it down and sighs a little.  “Now …. I can weigh the twins…”  and he steps on the scale, noting his weight because there are just things he does not want to know about the mayor's wife.  She’s beautiful .. after that he doesn’t want to know, really.  Stepping off, he looks around.  He can tell the twins apart.  He has trouble with the Peterson twins, but the Brate twins he has no problem with.  “Fred, you’re closest….”  he moves to the cat and holds out his hand for Fred to sniff before trying to pick the ginger up.

Fred loves people and immediately pushes his face into Theo’s hand looking for affection. He’s easy to pick up too but when it’s George’s turn, George gets a little more squirmy, not nasty just high spirited.

Megan watches her cats and Theo. She laughs “Well I think i may have with this whole Covid thing. Glad the yoga classes are full on again. My jeans have been tight. Right Voldemort…..we need to do yoga….and not just the lying down poses…..” She watches Theo with the twins “Oh they like you.” She remarks.

Theo chuckles as he weighs George.  “I know I’ve interrupted prime exploring time.  I’m just doing my job.”  he tells him.  He notes both cat’s weight and looks at Megan.  “Northern Lights could make a mint on Kitty and me yoga.”  he chuckles and then asks, as he picks up Voldemort in the carrier.  “How’s Izabella, by the way?” he asks as he moves the carrier into the exam room.  The only one with an open door.

“They should so do that...I’ll supply the cats.” She says with a laugh “I’d love if they did goat yoga too but I don’t know if Darlene would ever go for it.” She smiles at Theo “Oh she’s good….allergic to gluten but now feeling better since we stopped stuffing it into her. And she’s at a new shrieking stage. That;s fun. I had hoped that stopped as they got more words...but no….my ears are still bleeding.” She herds the gingers in, picking up George as he dawdles and has to sniff the door frame from all angles. Once inside the medical smells start to make her feel queasy again but she tries to keep it together and ignore it. Maybe she was coming down with something.

Theo sets Voldemort’s carrier on the floor and bends to pick up Fred.  “I might mention it when me and Simon go out here to give the animals checkups.”  He only half jokes cause goat yoga is bound to be amusing.  He winces at the news of Isabella. “Sometimes you just have to scream?”  he suggests as he takes Freds temperature.  All of their shots are set up all nice and neat.  Preparing the first of Fred’s three he turns the cat to face Megan.  “I know I love yoga.  Started it after the quake.”  his voice is pitched calmly as he gives the first injection.  He keeps calming the cat.  “I’m just kinda glad we don’t have to wear the same sort of outfits as you women get.  Talk about the whole town knowing more than they need to.”  He snorts and gives shot two.  Then he grabs the third.  “Does Adum do yoga?  Or is he just so chill he doesn’t need it.”  He gives the third injection and keeps rubbing Fred who took it like a champ, but he is one of the good Brate cats.

Megan laughs “Sometimes I scream with her...because what else can you do.” She nods at Theo “I started yoga when I was pregnant, Michelle recommended it. But now I’m just hooked. I’ve seen you going in a few times as I come out of the Intermediate. Aw come on Theom you’re fit, you could brave tights…” She teases. “I do get Adum to go when he has time...like a little date really…” She looks at Fred too “Oh you’re such a good boy Fred….”


Theo pats Fred.  “You ARE a good boy.”  and lets him go.  He looks at Megan.  “I’ll get tights and whatever happens to me is on you.  So let's pray I get picked up.  And speaking of picking up …”  He gets George and sets him on the table.  The petting seems to keep the cat calm, but George wants to see everything around him, so it’s not as easy to vaccinate this moving target.  “See, this just makes me want to avoid gingers.”  he teases.  “Can you hold Mr Curiosities head for me?”

Megan nods and clears her throat a bit. Something in this room was setting her off, a chemical maybe? She was about to comment about Theo’s chances in tights while she reached for George and suddenly her stomach lurched uncontrollably and she looked around and then ran to the sink and threw up violently.

Theo is still holding a hypodermic like a cigarette when suddenly Megan throws up in the sink.  He sets the needle down and reaches for paper towels with one hand and megan with the other.  “Hey, Megan…”  he’d ask if she’s okay, but that seems like not the best question to ask.

Megan takes a paper towel and looks mortified “Oh Theo I’m so sorry.” She wipes at her mouth and then begins to rinse the sink, smells bile and throws up a second time. “Fuuuuuuuck….” She moans after and wipes at her mouth again, still trying to rinse “If I’ve just exposed you to some kind of bug…..shit….sorry….” She slowly begins to recover and is able to rinse the sink now “Oh god….”

Theo  pats her on the back and is about to speak when she throws up again.  “Megan, just … sit, okay?”  he’ll lead her to one of two chairs in the waiting room.  “Don’t worry about any bug.  If you're thinking coronavirus, throwing up isn’t a symptom.”  he tells her, still looking at her with concern.  “Um ….  Not to be too personal but … how long have you been like … this?”  he asks, carefully.

Megan slowly sits and nods “Thank you.” She thinks “I don’t know I get vertigo sometimes in yoga…..lately other times….not so much dizzy….but I feel like that’s it. Maybe I have low iron. I’ve just been so busy. I feel like it’s maybe been a few months...you know the Covid blur…” She laughs.

Theo considers.  “A few months?”  he licks his lips.  “I don’t often ask this of my patients' owners, but is there a chance that you’re pregnant?”  he arches a brow, mildly amused but also thinking.

Megan nods a little looking casual at first and then she hears his question and sort of laughs it off “Oh I don’t….” And then a very connected poignant day off birthday romp rushes into her memory and her eyes widen “Oh shit…” she laughs “Yeah...maybe. Wow have I been that unobservant of my body and my life?” She sighs and then thinks about everything she’s been feeling “I think I’m pregnant Theo. You probably don’t have pee sticks for humans do you?”

Theo watches as Megan puts things together.  “Yea, I thought that kinda looked like morning sickness.”  and then he looks at her.  “Well you and Adum have been linda busy the last couple months, so I don’t fault you for not listening to your body or life or whatever.”  and then he nods.  “I think you're pregnant too.  That’s my professional opinion for still needing to renew my DVM license.”  and then he laughs.  “I'm afraid I don’t.”  he tells her.  “But let me be the first to say congratulations.”  he smiles.  “Maybe we should reschedule George and Voldemort for a later time?”

Megan is smiling now, beaming even. “Thank you. I’ll track down Michelle.” She shakes her head, feeling somewhat stable after puking twice “I think I can do it now.” She moves to George who has rolled over on his back and is now showing them both his belly with his feet stuck in the air “See? Cat yoga….do you want me to hold him like this or set him more upright…..yes you you big brat..” She scratches George and he rolls his head around on her hand.

Theo grins and then nods.  “If you say so.”  He takes the needle again and moves to George.  “Thank you, George for showing me some new yoga poses.”  he gives him the first shot.  “I hope I’m as attractive as you in the window of Northern Lights with my tights on.”  George is so soaking up the scratching and the praise he barely flinches at the shot.  “And you get to babysit a whole new generation.”  He takes the needle.  “Was it you that taught little Isabella to yowl?”  and he gives the third shot.  “I thought nod.”  he grins at Megan, but it is short lived.  He blows out a breath.  “Next....”

Megan enjoys how awesome Theo is with the cats and his banter about cats and yoga “I think the yowling expert is our next patient.” She dares to open the carrier “Voldemort…..her sweetie….” Voldemort peeks out and sniffs the air and then just does a few little prances around the room like she owns the place. She graces Theo with a leg rub from the side of her body and then sits down on Megan’s foot. Megan gently picks her up and places her on the table and as soon as her little paws feel it’s surface she begins to scramble and writhe “Oh hey hey…” Megan tries to hold her in place but it’s like a little demon fighting to get back to hell.

While Megan was getting the cat ready, Theo lined up the hypodermics and braced himself.  “Hey there, lady.”  his voice goes down a pitch, clearly calculated to calm.  “It’s alright.”  he tries to calm her, but it doesn’t work.  It never works.  “Let’s get this done…”  he holds her with Megans help and gets the first shot done.  Voldemort hisses like a steam engine and the growling begins, but as she starts to turn, he gets in the second.  “That’s a good girl…”  he croone, reaching for the third needle.  “One more … and you can go home.”  he promises her and pinches the skin for the last shot.  Voldemort turns and sinks her teeth into Theo’s forearm just as he inserts the needle.  “There you go…”  his voice isn’t as crooning, but he gets it done and lets go.  “There …. That’s that.”  he heads for the sink and begins to wash his hands .. and his wound.

Megan holds onto what she can of Voldemore and then sighs as she bites yet another Alvin vet “Ah fuck Voldy….again. I’m sorry Theo…..you’re my hero. I’ll buy you some tights…” she jokes. “Thank you for everything today.” She pulls her sweater sleeves down again and scoops up her beautiful demon as she kicks and hisses. Megan is gentle but also shows no mercy as she shoves her in the cage and latches the door. Fred and George have already jumped back up on the table and are lying down together grooming one another.

Theo makes sure the wound is clean.  It’s bleeding a bit but … it’s not the first time this particular cat has drawn blood from him.  “As long as Adum knows, you can have fun with it.”  he teases right back.  Megan gets the temperamental cat back in the carrier and then Fred and George hop back up.  “No seconds, you two.”  he tells them and looks at Megan.  “It’s all part of the job.”  he insists and then amends.  “Well, not the unsolicited medical diagnosis.  That was just an observation.”  he chuckles and heads out of the exam room.  “Let’s ring you up, so you can stop by and visit Michelle.”  he enters the center receptionist counter.  “I will amuse myself by telling myself that you’ll ask for a pregnancy test and Michelle will think you mean Voldemort.”  he chuckles and prints out the bill, handing it over.  “You know when Simon gets back, I think he and I need to talk about tranquilizers for Voldemort when she has shots as well as when she needs her teeth cleaned.”

Megan looks sympathetic and zips up the chariot with all cats inside now. “Well I’ll buy him tights too….and tweet it out so all the ladies come to watch you boys do your forward bends.” She laughs “You know Gareth’s been coming to Intermediate classes...bet he’d wear tights.” She teases further. “Don’t worry I won’t call you to deliver any human babies. And can I get tranqs to cut her nails?” She looks at the bill and nods and then moves to tap her card “Another baby….” she laughs “A covid kid. That’s what they’ll call them I’m sure.”

Theo laughs softly.  “Well if I have to compete with Gareth I'll never get a woman.”  he complains.  “But I do look forward to not being the only man in the class.  Then he laughs again.  “Oh Think you’ll name the kid Corona or Covid or Novel or something?  Good luck getting that past Adum.”  she pays and he nods.  “Have a great day and we’ll see you for the next batch soon.