2020-06-14 - Old School Flames - Brayden and Kira

Brayden Kim locks his front door after he popped home to change after work. He stepped out to the street wearing old blue jeans and a black and white hoodie and some red trainers. He made his way to the police station giving a mix of both friendly and awkward nods and waves along the way. When he stepped inside he waited behind one other person at the desk. It was an old man reporting what sounded like a missing shoe? Brayden was sure he had heard that incorrectly. That was hardly a concern for the cops. Dude, take another look in your closets. The man left and Brayden stepped up “Hi there.” He offered.

Frank Sharp blew out a breath as the man left.  “Hi.  How can I help you?”  she asked, friendly, professional and praying the man had all his shoes.

Brayden stifled a chuckle “I’m wondering if it would be possible to visit Kira Delmonaco? If she’s up for seeing people....I’m Brayden Kim. If you need to ask her.”

Frank looks at Brayden Kim and almost laughs.  “Yes.  I remember seeing you around the school back in the day.”  she reaches for a clipboard and pulls it out, looking at a list.  “Your name is on the list.  Hold on.”  she moves to a plain door, unlocks and opens it, striking her head in.  A deeper voice replies and the door opens more fully.  Frank returns to the desk and a black cop steps out.  “Hello Mr Kim.  I’m Officer Marcus Lawrey.”  he reaches under the counter and pulls out a plastic dish.  “I need to see your ID and for you to empty your pockets into the tray.”  he pulls out the clipboard again.  “Then sign here and I can take you back.” he sounds very efficient.

Brayden smiles at Frank, recognizing her as Ms. Sharp from his school days. He shifts his focus to Officer Lawry “Hi there Officer Lawry.” He offers respectfully. Brayden takes his wallet from his back pocket. It’s really just a red plastic card case with what looks like some black Korean designs. He pops it open and passes the officer his birth certificate card and an expired student card from the Emily Carr Art Institute because it’s the only photo ID he owns, not being someone who ever got a driver’s license. Then he begins emptying his pockets into the tray. He’s got two sets of keys, one for home and one for work, a phone with a red case, a small black comb, and a pair of earbuds style headphones. He takes the clipboard to sign and tilts it a bit as he signs with his left hand. His writing is an illegible scrawl. With a smile he slides back the clipboard.

Marcus checks the id and then the signature against the paper he signed.  With a nod, he turns.  “This way, pleast.”  and he opens the door and goes through, holding it for Brayden.  “Kira, you have a visitor.”  He nods Brayden towards the far cell.

Kira was standing more or less in the middle of her cell.  She was in standard prison clothing and no her hair was short.  A book lay closed on the cot but it is title down.  As Brayden comes into view, she looks at him, remembering the last words she spoke to him and how he hadn’t known her after she emerged broken from her house six years ago.

Brayden looks nervous but walks through the held door and to the cell at the end with a nod to Officer Lawry “Thanks.” He comes into view fully, standing in front of the bars, just in front of the chair a bit unsurely. The last conversation they had in front of the clinic was intense. Kira looked different now, short hair, prison attire. The hair made her look a bit more like her old self but the orange jumpsuit was the constant reminder that she was far from it. After a little gulp he said “Hi.” And waited to see how she replied to him.

Kira watched him look her over.  She opened her mouth to speak and couldn’t.  It wasn’t that she had forgotten how or refused.  It was more emotional than she thought it would be.  “Hi.”  she finally manages.  “He .. asked you.”  she manages, her speech much slower than what it was in high school.

Brayden watched Kira and still looked apprehensive. She said hi and then she said he asked you. He knew she meant Gareth. He exhales “Gareth asked me...but I was already thinking about coming to visit. I wasn’t sure how strict they would be with who was allowed….or who you would want….to see…” He shifted from foot to foot and then bumped the chair directly behind him. After he bumped it it did seem the logical choice was to sit down but he kind of sat on the edge of the seat like he was half afraid she’d want to kick him out. He really didn’t know what to expect.

Kira reacted with shock.  “You … were?”  She’d never imagined in a million years that he would want to see her.  That made no sense to her.  “I can approve whoever I want.  Just tell Marcus.”  she nods to the corner where the guard seems to be checking things off on a clipboard.  She took a few steps forward once he sat and lowered herself to the concrete floor.  “I had him put you on the list as soon as Gearth left.”  she falls silent and looks at her hand.  Then taking a deep breath she looks in his direction.  “I’m sorry.”

Brayden smiles a bit and then when she sits on the floor he feels like he’s towering above her and that feels off to him. He eases himself down to the floor too, sitting cross legend, just as she says the words I’m sorry. He looks taken aback by the apology “Kira…..what could you possibly have to be sorry for?”

Kira watches him sit on the floor and ask what she could have to be sorry about.  In her head there is such a list.  “I waited too long to kill him.”  she explains and swallows hard.  “When I heard what J ….  What he did to you.  I waited and was going to kill him.  His mother beat me to it.”  she wasn’t sure still if she was glad or mad about that.

Brayden slumped forward a bit and closed his eyes for a minute “Kira that wasn’t on you. You went through hell….believe me...I know some of it. I’m lucky I had family. I know now that you didn’t. I wish you could have...I wish I had known a long time ago….I wish I had been there for you….” He opened his eyes and choked up, tears spilling out of them “I’m the one who should be sorry. And I am….I’m so fuckin sorry….” He wipes at his face.

Kira feels her throat tighten. By the time Brayden opens his eyes, her own tears are flowing.  “No one …  knew…”  she sniffs and sibs, then takes a moment to try and collect herself.  “You couldn’t save me.  No one .. could save me.”  and she sobs loudly and wipes at her eyes, angrily.

From the corner, Marcus’s eyes lift from his keyboard.  He doesn’t say anything, but he watches them now.

Brayden silently cries with her and nods “I know Kira...I know.” He tries to collect himself with a few deep breaths but her emotional state is affecting him. Maybe he should have brought Gareth back with him. He’s feeling unsure where to go from here. He decides to just admit it “Kira I don’t know how to help you….or myself really...but I want to…”

Kira sobs a bit and wipes her tears away.  Lifting her right hand, she seems to push at the air, hoping Marcus won’t interfere with the visit because she was crying.  She takes a deep breath .. and then another and finally drops her arm.  “I … died.”  she told him.  “He killed me.”  she tries to find words that make sense.  “Now .. this Kira.”  she places a hand on her chest.  “Has to … learn to live.  And I tried to … to kill her too.”  she blows out a breath.  “I can’t help.  I’m too broken.  But … a doctor?  Singh?  He helps.”  She considers her words and decided she made no sense and sounded absolutely insane.

Brayden’s eyes follow the movements of her hand and then he hears her say she died. He gave her a bit of a knowing look and nodded. He looks pained at her admissions of attempts to finish the process herself but nods again. He had never taken action on it but he had struggled with the thoughts. She started talking about Dr. Singh and then he sniffed and nodded less emotionally “I’ve been going to Dr. Singh. Does he come to see you here? He’s helped me….” He admits. Her words made total sense to him.

Kira nods.  “I’ve seen him .. for years.  Didn’t speak to anyone .. all these years.  Sajani helped me … talk.  But I still … it’s .. hard I feel so .. stupid and slow.”  she swallows.  “I have a lawyer.  So maybe I won’t get five years no.”  she sighs deeply.  It would have been worth life if she could have killed Jack Rose.

Brayden was patient with her slow speech. It was odd to him because she was so brilliant in high school he often felt a bit less smart in comparison. “You’re not stupid.” He knew she couldn’t lose it all, there was no way. This was just trauma, like Gareth not speaking after the fire. “I hope you have a good lawyer Kira...maybe you won’t get any?” He was hopeful sounding for her.

Kira actually laughs when he suggests she won’t get any time at all.  “Natalie … says I will go free.  That I was … diminished.”  she blows out a breath.  “Maybe I am .. no .. I am .. So maybe.  But she has to be hopeful.”

Marcus lowers his eyes back to his work when Kira laughs, feeling better about her state of mind.

Brayden smiles broadly at her laugh. It was something. “Well listen to Natalie. I know it doesn’t sound like a good word but let’s hope she knows what she’s doing and it all works out.” He looks around her cell a bit “Sajani helped you talk? That’s cool….I saw her name on your list of visitors...I know I’m not supposed to snoop at that….I saw the name Natalie too...Dr. Singh….Gareth of course…” And then he frowns a bit and laughs “And Patrick Peterson?” He’s curious about why Patrick came by but maybe related to the fire if he witnessed Kira attacking Jack.

Kira gives a small smile.  “She has nice clothes.  She's no free lawyer.”  She wishes she knew who had hired Natalie.  He goes through the list of her visitors and she bites her lip when he gets to Patrick Peterson.  “He visits.  That night he was at .. the stretcher Ja … Jack was on.”  she coughs up the name Jack like a bothersome hairball.  “But also he feels very bad.  Because he believed my parents.  And because he saw me …”  she shakes her head. “Needles in my arm. Beaten. High.”  she sighs.

Brayden winces as Kira talks about the night of the fire and the state first responders have seen her in, the state her life has been in. He visibly shudders at the word Jack.  He swallows hard and nods. “OK...makes sense then.” He sighs looking at his feet and then looks up “Have you ever talked to your parents since? I wouldn’t blame you if you hated them. I think I hate them actually…” He admits. They had been really convincing that Kira was too sick to visit and eventually just wouldn’t even answer his calls to the home line. But it was all a lie.

Kira shakes her head.  “No.  The police…”  she frowns, trying to think.  “Tried to find them.  My parents think I’m a slut.  A whore.  Left me because what happened would make the town talk.  Look at my sin.”  The whole legal investigation had given her time to consider her parents.  “And look at them.  But I don’t know if I hate them.  Sometimes I don’t think they deserve my hate and other times I hate them so much I don’t know what to do about it.”  she smiffs, but doesn’t cry.  “Parents are supposed to help.  Mine didn’t and …  that’s part of why I am here.”

Brayden clearly recognizes that the scope of Kira’s trauma is vastly more than his own. He strives to listen more than talk. Her life has been awful in so many directions. How did the sweet girl he loved in high school have to face all this stuff alone? He just nods at her and affirms what she’s saying “I know. I mean I don’t...but I understand what you’re saying. I can’t even imagine it.”

Kira understands Braydens struggle.  “Well …”  she searches the floor for a subject.  “At least they left me a house so I wasn’t homeless?  They’re cleaning my house, but you probably know that already.  I’ve been offered a job with the town, if I can do it.  And I might get disability.”  she bites her lip.  All of these things were good, yet overwhelming in their own ways.

Brayden smiles “Yeah I know about your house. Saw the SGDI truck out front even. What kinda job are they offering you? I work at the pharmacy now.” He doesn’t address the word disability based on her own reaction to it. That might be a lot for anyone to process.

Kira shrugs.  “At the Farm.”  she blows out a breath.  “It’s a job and money.  I go back and forth on so many things.  Like it feeling like they’re tucking me away.  But …  I’ll try.”  she looks around the cell.  “I know the weather is getting warmer.  They take me out every day.”  she shakes her hand.  “I want to talk about something happy.  Can people like us do that?”  With Sajani it was easy.  Tell her you needed a light topic and she would find one.

Brayden sucks in a breath and bites his cheek a bit as she says at the farm. Avery was at the farm. He paused for a moment and decided to skip that topic. He inwardly cringed at the idea of the two of them figuring it out but he didn’t think it would be a helpful reveal today. He has to chuckle when she talks about the weather, trying for normal. “I’m glad you get fresh air Kira. It helps. Something happy…” He blows out a breath and thinks “The ferry is open? We had a pretty kick ass protest in support of the Black community here and all over. The reason isn’t happy but the fact that our town is amazing about that is happy.” He gives Officer Lawry a little glance realizing he’s talking about his community.  He thinks “Butterflies…” He says at random like he just tossing out happy words for her “Kittens? Chocolate…..swimming in the ocean?”

Marcus catches the glance, betraying that he is still watching them by giving a thumbs up and  flipping a page on the clipboard before writing again.

Kira tilts her head.  “The ferry means more people…”  and its clear she has no idea if that qualifies as good news.  “Puppies?”  she adds to the list.  “I’m thinking I should get a dog.  Not here … when I get released.  And maybe not a puppy.  But …  a …. Pet?”  she does brighten at the idea.  “Someone to talk to.”  she doesn’t mention the security aspect of a dog.  That might not be happy or positive.

Brayden gives a little sideways smile at the thumbs up and then brightens as well about the talk of a dog. “Yeah... a dog would be cool. They need a lot of walking, especially the big ones. They bond to people though. My Grandpa Bao had a dachshund. When he died, the dog died soon after, like he wanted to be with him….k I’m flunking at happy here…” He laughs “Food….food is happy! Do you get decent food in here? Remember my Chad?” He qualifies “May dad….he’s got a new foodie show although the whole Covid thing kinda messed with it for a bit. Late Night Food Truck…...he just hits the circuit….some fun folks. Do you get the internet in here?”

Kira nods.  “I need walking, too.  I’m afraid I might go in my house and stay there and I can’t do that.  A dog would make me leave the house.”  she smiles a little as Brayden swerves a little off of the happy road.  “Oh, the restaurants provide the food so it's always fine.  And I remember Chad.  No internet here.”  she shrugs.  “But I have books.  I just finished The Hobbit and just started To Ride Pegusus.  Anne McCaffrey?”  she’d always loved books.  “There’s three in that series.  The books are all loaners, but … once I start work … there is a little bookstore … but no new books.  Just new to me.”  she blows out a breath.  “Dogs and books… “  she pauses.  “Will you go to the mainland now?”  and she wonders if she will.

Brayden looks approving about her getting decent food and supports the book thing. She always was a reader. “Well I’ve read the Hobbit…” He admits “But not the Pegasus series. Did Sajani bring you books?” He asks with a smile remembering the two brainy girls and their school days “I see her like every second day now hey? It’s work stuft...the pharmacy does the rentals and sales for stuff like walkers and canes and she and Daryl help people with all that.” Sajani had very pointedly not brought up Kira to Brayden and he thought about that for a second now and then dismissed it. He nods about the mainland “Well yeah maybe...see Chad….bum around. I tried the university thing for awhile and it wasn’t really my gig and I just started this new job so I’m not looking to get outta here or anything.”

Kira gives Brayden a look without realizing it.  The look that jokingly said ‘of course, silly’ to him.  She’d often given him that look in school.  “Sajani brings me books.”  she confirms.  “One bag at first.  And then Patrick brought two and Chris brought one.  I think they're still being searched and catalogued.  Even if I get five years, I won’t run out of books.”  this time, that joke is much closer to being funny.  “I’m glad you can work.  And you pressed charges.”  she drops that right away.  “University…” She breathes the word, reverently.  That had been her dream.  College.  Career.  Marrying Brayden and having a family.

Brayden chuckles at the look and then nods “Good about all the books.” He sighs “Yeah I did, then he died.” He bites his lip and is happy to move on “I didn’t get a degree. Emily Carr for pottery and sculpture. Dropped out and worked in my uncle’s noodle house for awhile….then I came back here….Mom kept saying she’d be glad when I finally…” he hand quotes “found myself” He laughs “I worked a bunch of weird jobs...I was even a garbage man…” He shudders “That was pretty gross….the maggots….ugh…” He sighs a bit looking sad “Then the quake...Aunt Jill and Uncle Kevin and Theresa….” Kira would remember Jill not just as his aunt but as their biology teacher Mrs. Kim-Thatcher. Brayden took another breath “Finally ended up at Thrifty Foods but that was where it all went to shit. He worked there…” He breaks off.

Kira listens, finally learning what Brayden had done after her life ended.  Then he mentions the quake and finally Thrifty’s.  “You know …  when the quake came … one of my favorite EMT’s died.  So many died and I was jealous.”  she snorts.  “He … lived.  And he taunted me.”  she looks at Brayden.  “Now he is dead.  I can come back to life.  YOU can .. you ARE.”  she looks at him.  She’d always admired him.  Then she loved him.  And even now, he seemed to her stronger than she was.  Then she suddenly remembers how his mother had looked at her, taking a second to even recognise her.  “How’s your mom…”  she had thought Michelle had liked her, but it was hard to tell because the difference between anyone and her own strict parents was difficult to understand.

Brayden clues into who the EMT might have been. It was all a mess for their household then with his Aunt and Uncle and cousin but Gareth was also struggling and he had heard his mom and Gareth talking about a coworker of his. He gets distracted before he can even say the name by Kira saying she was jealous of people who died and then talking about Jack. He knew what Jack’s taunting felt like, only during the one incident. If Kira had faced years of it after hers no wonder she went off the rails. He grits his teeth thinking about it and has to work to come up from sinking into darkness as Kira shifts her perspective a bit. “Yeah...I’m working on it. I’m still in therapy… “I know he’s gone but I still really watch my back when I’m walking around….just habit now.” He admits and then she asks about his mom and he lightens some more. He laughs a little “She’s good, working you know...late nights...all the babies. Can’t stop renovating. You remember what our house was like? Always a construction zone.” He starts to laugh “She told me something….well I don’t even know...she’s kinda got a guy. That’s new...she’s never actually told me about anyone before if there was anyone before.” He sighs “It’s not someone I would have guessed as her type….anyways not really my deal. I mean my Chad wasn’t her type either but here I am.”

Kira nods.  “Therapy helps.  I couldn’t with Dr Singh.  Not for years.  Because … “  she pauses and decides to skip that part as Brayden moves on to a lighter topic.  “I remember nails on the living room floor.”  she lowers her eyes at the intimate memory, then lifts them again.  “If he makes her happy, it’s good.  And … you can’t really know someone until you know them.  Look at me.  I know what people thought then and what they think now the truth is out…”

Brayden actually has a bit of a blush about the nails on the floor and then laughs. That had been a long time ago….but clearly she still remembered. Then he hears her about not making assumptions and sighs “I shouldn’t judge the guy. It’s just my mom so I’m feeling overprotective. I know she can handle herself, more than handle herself.”

Kira notices the blush, but makes no comments.  That was another life.  But on the guy, she shrugs.  “Maybe get to know him?”  she suggests.  “Then if he turns out to be a jerk you can talk to your mom?  She loves you.”  and she pauses.  “That means you can say you’re worried and hy.  As long as you don't call her names.”  she blinks. “Love is supposed to be good. And your mom loves you.”

Brayden blinks “I would never call my mother names….or anyone she wanted to date. It doesn’t sound serious so we’ll see if he comes around. Mind you he’s Gareth’s friend so he’s already been to our house….it’s that fireman...Nico...Caito...the chili guy. I know she loves me and I love her. It’s just new. You always think of your parents as asexual beings..” He snorts and then realizes that she doesn’t get to do that, be either shocked or amused by her own parents. “I’m sorry that was insensitive…..about the parent thing..i wasn’t thinking.”

Kira realizes how she’s come off. “Sorry …  scars.  My mother … when she caught us that time …”  She hears it’s Nico.  “He’s not a bad person.  If I got to his place at closing, he would give me food.  And he’s seen me … bad.  He’s Search and Rescue so … he’s seen me at my worst, too.”  Then he apologizes about what he says about parents.  “It’s OK … my parents told me I came from God as an answer to their prayers.”  she snorts.  “Then they wanted their money back, I guess.”  she rolls her eyes.  “Oh … did you see the priest?”  the talk of religion reminds her.  “He doesn't look like a priest but he has the cross and the ring.  REALLY tall and thin .. red hair?  He asked to bless my house and didn’t even get mad when I told him I didn’t care.”  she looks pensive.  “It might not help, but it couldn’t hurt.”

Brayden looks pained remembering what her mother had said to both of them. They weren’t even doing anything more than cuddling that time. He was shocked by any parent talking to a kid like that. His mom had been so the opposite, just kind to his friends and really kind to Kira, giving them privacy when she noticed they were snuggled up on the couch and respecting their space. However in her next sentence his esteem for Nico increased. He gave Kira food? Brayden was beginning to see what he might have in common with his mom then. He scoffed about the money back comment. The more he heard about and remembered Kira’s parents, the more he disliked them. Some people should never have kids...but he was also glad they had her...just not that they raised her. She moved on to a new topic “Priest? I didn’t think we had any organized religion here but that weird cult….” He listens to the description “Oh that guy...thought he was another Reinhardt….I mean sure. Why not?”

Kira nods.  She’s actually showing some excitement.  “He came to see me.  I didn’t want to pray but told him he could pray for me if he wanted to.  He is definitely the kind of priest my parents would hate.  So he can’t be bad.”  she laughs lightly that he might be another Reinhardt.  “They’re all grown up now.  All I know is Nurse Reinhardt is very kind.  When I was in the clinic.”  she sighs .. it always comes back around to the bad for her.  “I’m sorry.  I’m getting tired again.  I’m not on drugs.”  she assures him.  “Just … emotion …”  so much emotion.  “Thank you for coming.  I thought you might not, and am glad you did.  I wanted to say thank you .. and goodbye … but also hello.  Cause that Kira .. the one you loved .. she’s dead … but I hope maybe this is a new start for a friendship?”

Brayden enjoys her laughter and listens, seeing her fading and the admission that she’s tired. He gives her a knowing look. He had had times himself too where the smallest conversation drained him and this one, while good, was making him tired as well. He looked at her wistfully and then smiled “I would very much like to build a friendship with you Kira. I think it would help heal us both.”