2020-06-13 - Cold Turkey - Kira, Natalie and Marcus

It was 2 days after Natalie Sokal had given up drinking, 3 days after thinking there was a chance that she and Marcus had created a growing life inside her with their sleep to wake magical lovemaking of their dreams that turned real as they woke. Natalie had never thought of herself as an alcoholic. Sure she could hold her liquor and she loved to drink but it wasn’t that bad. But as she felt worse and worse by the mid morning of this second day, she began to look up withdrawal symptoms and sure enough her physical sensations matched the list. She had decided not to go see Kira today but work hard on compiling her notes from her motel room desk.

This was of course after seeing Kira yesterday afternoon and feeling so feverish and sweaty she had to put her blazer back on because she could feel horrifying wetness soaking the fabric in the armpits of her blouse. She had never sweat so much in her life. She kept blaming the stuffy interrogation room and dabbing at her brow, hoping Kira didn’t notice. With all the fear of Covid still looming, she was worried she’d be denied access to her client if Chief Greene thought she was in any way ill. Marcus was of course always the consummate professional but she could see the worry in his eyes over her state. Yesterday she hadn’t actually known what was wrong so she couldn’t even reassure him. Walking back to the hotel she had felt extremely nauseous too and had just managed to make it to the bathroom of her room before throwing up. She did confess that to Marcus when he texted her later and then he immediately called.

They were both thinking the same thing after that but Natalie looked it up and said “It’s too soon for those symptoms. I think I just have a flu or something. Maybe don’t come over tonight so I don’t expose you further. I’ll be fine. I love you.” And then she had just fallen into bed after a few big glasses of water.

She hadn’t felt nauseous yet this morning but the fever was back and she was anxious and jittery. She couldn’t go into the station like this and let people see her this way. Natalie didn’t want to freak out Kira or make Marcus worry more. He was probably already worried when she cancelled her visit to Kira today. She was pretty sure this was withdrawal. She’d tell him later but for now, she tried to write, connecting her photo evidence with what she would say about each exhibit. She also needed to contact Dr. Singh about his potential testimony. The trial was in less than a  week so she had to have her shit together no matter how she felt.

Marcus Lawry relieved the overnight guard ten minutes early.  His promptness served him well as he read the notes from the overnight desk, got himself a first cup of coffee and exchanged a couple of words with the crew before entering the windowless room of the cell block for the day.  He got her breakfast order, and when it was delivered, he sat with her and they chatted a bit as had become their habit.  Then he took back her breakfast tray and watched as Kira sat on her cot and read her latest book, Dune by Frank Herbert.

At eight-thirty, the door opened and Michael Reinhardt delivered the message that Natalie would not be visiting Kira today.  The message did not come as a surprise to Marcus, who knew far better than anyone knew about exactly how the high priced attorney was doing.  It didn’t surprise him, but it did concern him.  He walked over to Kira and gave the message to her that her lawyer thought she might be coming down with something … not Covid … and was erring on the side of caution until she felt better.  In other words, Kira could expect not to see her attorney except through phone messages and the occasional phone call, until this bug was over.

Kira had looked concerned that her attorney was ill, but also that her favorite guard looked so worried over a cold.  Granted it was very subtle, but she had known Marcus from the street before her arrest and since her arrest had seen him five days a week for eight hours a day.  The change in him had come almost immediately upon Natalie’s arrival, although he hid it well.  But having nothing but time on her hands, coupled with her beginning to heal, she had noticed things others were likely to miss.  And she noticed that Marcus had seemed quite worried about Natalie, especially the last couple of days.

For her, it was confirmed during her ‘yard time’, the hour or so that she was allowed outside of the cop shop to walk and exercise if she wished behind the building in a corner of Central Park.  Mostly Marcus was as he always was, chatting with her as she literally jogged around and around him, as running was not something she could do in her cell.  The conversation was light, but his eyes drifted away from her and in the direction of the Parthenon where she knew Natalie to be staying,   Of course, she said nothing about it, as she suspected that whatever it was that had Marcus so focused on her attorney was private.  Kira could respect that, as she was a private person herself … or the new Kira she was becoming was.  So she acted as normally as Marcus until three, when Marcus got off.  He told her that he had the next day, Sunday off and would see her on Monday.

Marcus left promptly and headed straight home from work, forcing himself to change his clothes before he began to pace his living room.  In minutes he found himself looking for recipes.  Selecting a few, he finally picked up his phone and sent Natalie a text message.

Hungry yet?  I’m bout to head into the kitchen and cook.

He looked at it and pressed send/  While he understood that it was too early for her to show any signs of pregnancy, her symptoms were closer to alcohol withdrawal.  And he could at least make her something simple that might help combat some of that … if her temper would allow him to.

By the time Natalie got Marcus’s text she was more than ready for a break from her work. She had her ducks lined up so to speak. Singh had agreed to testify and was preparing his own notes. She found the psychologist very easy to work with and was pleasantly surprised by his efficiency. There had been communication finally on which judge they were assigning. With Covid the whole trisal system had been flipped on its head. It would be held online in a virtual court with just the necessary parties. They had their own internal software program set up for video conferencing in the courts that she had become adept at. And as a small bonus, the judge was not Vijay Patel, her ex husband. She and Vijay had remained friends but she didn’t want any conflict of interest or distraction from what she needed to do for Kira. In fact this judge was one she only knew in name; Francine Walsh. She didn’t even have a rumour to cloud her vision of how it might go. A clean approach. The prosecution was Gerald Sanders, a bit of a fossil but Natalie had beat him in the last case she tried against him.

Natalie assessed her overall state and decided she could risk a walk to Marcus without puking in the street. She took a fast shower and threw on her light blue capris and loose top over a tank top and texted him back “Happy to join you.” She slipped into not just flat shoes but a pair of plain white canvas sneakers and began to walk. The fresh air felt good. By the time she got to Marcus’s she was a little feverish again but dressing light had reduced her sweating from yesterday. She had applied a liberal amount of deodorant after her shower with the worry she might have this again. With a sigh she knocked on his door.

Marcus had begun making the meal and it was near done when the knock sounded.  He arched his brows, not having expected her to show up, but he opened it with a smile and let her in, closing and locking the door behind her.  He offers her a soft kiss, knowing full well she doesn’t have a cold or the flu or anything else along those lines.  “Have a seat.  It’s almost done.  Vegetable soup and salad.  Want a drink?  I’ve got coffee, tea and a mango peach juice drink.”  he watches her without looking like he is, but by now she probably knows what he’s doing even if she can’t see it really.

Natalie kisses Marcus back softly “Sorry I’m a bit gross. I swear I showered but you’d think I ran a marathon. Water….like 3 glasses in a row…” She doesn’t wait for him or expect to be served as a guest, she just goes to the cupboard and then takes a glass and turns on the tap. She gulps down the first glass and leans against the counter. She does notice Marcus watching her discreetly and appreciates that he’s not outright staring at her stature. “Vegetables are good. God I feel like shit. I hope I didn’t stress out Kira. I have all the notes and exhibits sorted.” Her energy is a little manic but like she’s trying to keep a handle on it. Then out of the blue ehr phone rings. She looks down at it and sighs “I have to take this….” She holds up the phone before she answers and the name on the call display is Lisa Sokal. “Hi Mom….” The voice at the other end is a loud talker. So loud you can practically make out every word.

“Natty…….why am I always the last to know everything?! Your father tells me you have some kind of a boyfriend...which he heard from Baba Petrushka. You couldn’t even call us? You never call us…”

Natalie sighs again “Mom I’m working…”
“You’re always working…..but you have time to call Petra...and to meet a man. I see how it is….who is he? When are you bringing him over to the house?”

Natalie rubs at her forehead, wiping her brow “Mom, I’ll figure out a time….I’m feeling a bit under the weather. Can we do this later? His name is Marcus.” Natalie looks apologetically at Marcus, sure he can hear every word.

Lisa gasps “Under the weather? Do you have the Covid?! Have you been tested? Marcus What? Is he on Facebook? I’ll look him up…”

Natalie rolls her eyes now, getting irritated “No I don’t have “the covid”. I think it’s a cold. No Facebook stalking….fuck I’m not even on there anymore…”

Lisa chirps “Well you haven't been in a while….not that I’d know. Language Natty. By the way dear your neglected profile says you’re still married to Vijay. You might want to sort that out….”

“I have to go now Mom. Thanks for calling…” Natalie makes like she’s about to hang up and says “Love to Dad.” Before there’s a little gasps of indignation and she does hang up and then looks completely embarrassed “Yes I’m a terrible daughter I know. I’m just not up for her today.”

Marcus leans against the wall when the phone rings and Natalie starts talking to her mother.  He then straightens and gets four bowls out, dishing up soup and salad for them both and setting them on the coffee table/dining table, in two trips.  Finally he places several pieces of plain old white bread on a plate and sets that out while he listens.  Then Natalie ends the call and looks at Natalie moving close to her and taking her free hand.  “I’m a pretty sucky daughter, too.”  he jokes.  “So … is that the stereotypical Jewish mother?  I thought they just force fed you … or is that the stereotypical black mother?”  He expects that stereotype fits nearly any mother, but he’s going for humor.

Natalie takes Marcus’s hand “I don’t know if she’s a stereotypical anything...but yeah the guilt. She hates being the last to know. But yet she makes every conversation hell so I never want to tell her anything. Your soup smells really good Marcus. Thank you…” She lets go of his hand to move to the coffee table “Apparently I need to divorve Vijay again on Facebook if I can ever remember my password.” She laughs. “It’s such a time waster.”

Marcus brings spoons, forks and napkins to the table and sits with her.  “I know a little about those things, but if your Facebook password is anything like your phone pass code, I can probably figure it out and do it for you.” he teases.  “Or you just do it while doing something more enjoyable … like .. a root canal?”  he grins and takes the bread, folds it in half and dunks it in his soup.

Natalie giggles and then dips her bread as well and eats a bit “Oh this IS good. I couldn’t even face the idea of dinner last night and all I braved today were salted crackers. Yeah I’m a bit predictable with passwords. It’s either numbers in my life or owl types or the mix of the two. Easy for you if I’m even clonked on the head I suppose….” She has a realization and picks up her phone “It’s pygmy84…” She logs in and types and clicks and then has a look of satisfaction “Now I can relax.”

She happily eats some more and then asks “How was Kira today?”

Marcus has a little soup as she does what she needs to do.  “And I didn’t even have to do a striptease to entertain you OR call in a dentist.”  he proclaims, smirking.  Then he has some salad.  “Kira’s good.  She’s worried about your health, but I think that’s more that she likes you than anything else.  But she might be a little worried about a trial instead of a plea bargain.”  he looks over at her.  “With Covid … is that even possible?  A trial, I mean.”  he asks.

Natalie grins “Well you didn’t offer the striptease right off the hop….that would have sealed the deal for me.” She sighs “I like Kira too. I want to see her through this and know that she does ok in life. I am thinking about the plea option…..it’s a risk. Sometimes it’s the right risk though.” Natalie nods “Virtual trial...kinda like Zoom but the courts have a way more secure system. We can meet in the interrogation room with a laptop and they’ll all be on screens. Prosecution is a guy I beat the last time I faced him in court. The judge is a total unknown to me...which is maybe a good thing. Maybe it’s the withdrawal shit but I’m cycling through multiple panic attacks about it all…” She admits.

Marcus hears her through completely before he addresses the trial first.  “You’ll do fine.  I have faith in your professionalism, even through the withdrawal.”  and then he smirks and addresses the first thing she said.  “Well next time you have to do something unpleasant on the computer, maybe you can lift one leg and let me lick until you lose complete concentration.”  and he winks.  She isn’t at her best, but she is still attractive to him because the physical .. is the least of it for him … and the vision he gets of her on the bed trying to type while he eats her out is strangely hot for him.

Natalie bites her lip at the thought “Wow….and you cook….where have you been for all my deposition gathering and evidence write ups?” She finishes her soup and looks earnestly at Marcus “You’ve are incredibly generous in every way...but particularly in bed. I have no complaints...believe me. I just want to make sure your needs are being met too. I’ve had some less than generous partners be really demanding about blow jobs, but you’ve never even hinted at it. I realize I haven’t offered or initiated...but with you I would….and I’d actually enjoy it. Do you have an aversion or are you just THAT selfless?”

Marcus finishes his soup and then works on the last of his salad.  “I’m here now, so just add me to your home office, and it’ll all be good.”  he tells her.  She goes on while he chews a nice mouthful of greens.  “I don’t think I’d call it an aversion, really.  There have been a few too many teeth when I was a teen-ager, but really … that’s not what gets me off.”  he tells her.  “You’ve noticed that when I eat you out and you cum and want me inside of you I am more than ready to give you what you want.”  it's more a statement of fact than a question.  “Because the sounds you make … your breathing … the way you move .. that’s so exciting for me.”  he clears his throat and adjusts himself, trying to hide the partial erection he got just talking about it and remembering.  “And besides.  I’m a man and once I cum … it’ll be a minute before I can get hard again so … if I got one orgasm a night in me …  I’d rather have it making love to you than staring at the back of your head or whatever.”  he shrugs.  “Just that simple.”

Natalie eats her salad and listens to him and gives him a little grin when he adjusts “Saw that.” She whispers and then listens to the rest “What if you have more than one? Don’t get me wrong I love what we do….just thinking and trying to keep it fair. And my teeth are pretty small...just saying.” She teases. “I can go with simple. Let me know if you want that sometime though.”

Marcus chuckles.  “Can’t help it .. just the idea…”  he pauses and considers.  “Maybe if you gave me a blow job and we took a bit of a break which culminated in my eating you out for a good long time I’m sure I’d be ready again later.”  he considers.  “I’ve never tried it but the way you turn me on it’s a safe bet.”  he picks up his bowl and kills his salad.  Swallowing he adds.  “We can try it sometime if you need some stress relief.”  and he winks.

Natalie wiggles her eyebrows and starts to give him a sultry look and then has a sudden wave of heat and nausea “No….” She says, annoyed with her own body “I want sexy times not pukey times….” She lies back on the couch and groans in irritation. “If I am pregnant please don’t let it feel worse than this….ah fuck…”

Marcus watches her and winces as she tells her body no.  He leans back and puts an arm around her.  “You get sexy time with me whenever you want it.”  he promises her.  “How about I do the dishes tonight.  You relax.  I have tomorrow off …  you have tomorrow off … so lets just hang out and see where we wind up.”  He kisses her softly and gets ready to gather the dishes and wash them.

Natalie leans into his arm around her and kisses him back lightly, worried she might be too sweaty and gross, but yet he’s still kissing ehr and open to more. “You’re amazing...and yes I’ll take tonight off the dishes but consider it a rain check since so far you do way more cooking than me…”

Marcus gathers the dishes and headss for the sink.  “Fair enough.”  he turns on the water.  “Maybe you need a bath or a shower?”  he suggests.  I have a couple sweat suits you can wear if you don’t want to get back in those clothes.”  he offers.  “Might help you feel better overall?”  he begins to wash the few dishes.

Natalie flops back onto the couch “A shower might….I just took one. Can I just steal a long t-shirt? Honestly I should have just brought my swimsuit and then I could just float in the cold ocean.”

Marcus chuckles.  “Just raid the armoire in my bedroom.”  he tells her.  “Help yourself to my clothes.”  he’s starting on the dishes, his back to the apartment as he washes.

Natalie wanders off “Ok thanks…” Marcus’s bedroom. Despite all the nights they’d spent together this was her first time setting foot in it. It was tidy, spartan and nice. His bed was made. It was big. Natalie took note of that. Room to roll around. If her body ever let her enjoy that. She went to the armoire and found the tshirts. She wasn’t normally a steal a boyfriend’s shirt kind of gal but the idea of wearing something of Marcus’s was insanely sweet and hot to her. She felt a few seeking something light and a little longer. She settled on one that was grey and took it with her to the bathroom, peeling off her sweaty clothes and stepping into the shower she set to luke warm. She found the soap and washed a bit and then just stood under the water letting it cool her.

Marcus finished up the dishes and as he turned the water off, heard it turn on in the bathroom.  He considered a moment joining her; after all she had mentioned wanting some sexy time.  But she was also not feeling well and he poured a glass of the juice and brought it to the living room, setting it on the table while he sat in the single large armchair.  Maybe the compromise was some cuddling for a bit.

Natalie turned off the water and stepped out. She found a towel and dried off and then pulled on the long t-shirt. She snooped around Marcus’s bathroom medicine cabinet because she could. She found his deodorant and stole a few swipes. It wasn’t too strong and it smelled like him. She hung her clothes over a towel rack to air out so she could wear them back to her hotel later or tomorrow. It dawned on her she might spend the night here even though they hadn't talked about it yet. Were they at that stage? She chuckled a bit and came out of the bathroom seeing Marcus sitting in the armchair “Much better thanks.” She walked over to him and slide herself onto his lap, giving him a little kiss.

Marcus leans back as she slides into his lap and wraps his arms around her.  She smells of his soap and deodorant and shirt.  Not bad at all.  “Good.”  he leans back and just holds her, knowing how she's feeling.  “We can listen to music, watch the news … listen to the quiet.  I know how withdrawal can suck so no pressure.  We can do nothing or everything .. whatever you’re up for.”

Natalie looks curious “You know about withdrawal from your work? Or you’ve been through this? I honestly had no idea how used to alcohol my body was. I mean I like a drink, a few but I didn’t really see that as  a problem. Should I be joining some sort of 12 step thing…” She laughs “My mother drinks a lot...maybe I should drag her with me. She was unusually kind to me after Aaron but she also poured me my first. I don’t think she knew what else to offer.”

Marcus shrugs a bit.  “Some of it’s from work, sure.”  he admits.  “But .. remember the friend I bailed out of jail that cleaned out my apartment?  Her name was Patricia and it started with the alcohol withdrawal and progressed to the heroin that killed her.”  he  nods slightly.  “If you feel like you need a 12 step program then go … and I’ll even go with you.  They have open meetings where non addicts can go with addicts.”  He looks interested in what she has to say about her mother.  “Maybe with your family it's that sort of respectable functional alcoholic and not the dirty stinking homeless bum of a drunk in the street.  It’s all the same disease.”  he looks at her.  “I’ll even stop drinking with you, if you think it will help.”

Natalie tunes into what he did for Patricia “You’re a good friend Marcus. Or was she more than that? Not that it undermines your integrity in your friendships either way. I’ll think about the meeting thing. I don’t know if I could ever even call my mother out. My father covers for her. Her parents pretend it’s not happening. She’s very high strung and it’s how she copes. I feel like there’s more to it but she’ll never open up to me. My father just hides in his workshop until she passes out. I always had more control than her...I didn’t want to be her. You don’t have to give up alcohol but it might help me if you don’t when we’re alone. I know I’ll be in social situations where I have to negotiate it. Lawyers,,drink.” She admits “Might be part of what kept me in it. I was married to two of them over the years. Some of my coworkers….well it’s what you do after work….how you celebrate a victory in court or comfort over a defeat.”

Marcus shakes his head.  “I met her before I became a cop.  She was that party girl in school and I was sort of a geek.  Into sports but really good grades.  We got together before graduation, but when I was in college and working, the drinking got worse and worse .. she tried to quit but when she relapsed it was worse.  Cocaine came into the mix and then heroin.  We broke up because … she wasn’t attractive to me … we had nothing in common but sex.  But when she got arrested for soliciting and possession, I bailed her out … and she said she was homeless so … I let her crash on my couch.  And like I said .. three days later she was gone with anything in my place she could get out.  They found her body about a week later in a bathtub with a needle in her arm.”  he strokes her arms.  “This might sound like me being an ass, but I’m not concerned about your mom, and you really can’t be either if sobriety is where you want to live.  You can only control yourself and your life.  And as for the job, maybe it’ll be OK to celebrate over a tonic and lime without the gin.”  he kisses her shoulder.  “I don’t believe you’d ever ruin us … but the alcohol might.  Make sense?”

Natalie listens to the whole story of Patricia and her sad end and frowns “Wow…..” She takes in the rest and nods “I know. That was one of my worries when I realized I was going through withdrawal. My parents have an empty marriage. They’re together out of habit. I don’t want that with you...or for you to leave me because I’m just too much. I have a pretty strong resolve. But if I think I need help I’ll get some. I love you Marcus. I don’t want to lose you.” She kisses his temple while his head is still bent into her shoulder.

Marcus smiles as his head is still bent, so Natalie won’t see it, but the words warm him.  “Let’s just pay attention to what we are.  Keep an eye out on it.”  he licks his lips.  “You know, Nat.  You don’t have to marry me if you’re pregnant with my baby.  Or any other reason.  I’m going to love you no matter what civil ceremonies are involved.”  he looks at her finally.  “There hasn’t been a marriage in my family for generations and the people are still good people.  And our baby will be loved whether we’re married or not … even if it turns out we have to try again later to conceive it.”

Natalie gives Marcus a little hug “I wasn’t suggesting we should get married either way. I’ve had two divorces so that piece of paper and the ceremony can sometimes just be a lot of words. I think we choose what we are to each other and fuck the world.” She gives him a sweet slow kiss and then pulls back “I know we don’t know yet...and I agree with you. I have to admit as I’ve been thinking about it, I’ve been more than a  tiny bit hopeful. I know it’s crazy because we really just met. But I can’t imagine anyone I’d rather have a baby with sooner...or later...than you.”

Marcus returns the hug and rests his hand on her knee.  “What you said.”  he pauses and goes on.  “I’ve never felt this close to anyone either than I do with you.  Whatever it is, it’s powerful, but I’m not scared of it.  And I take that as a good sign.”  he moves to kiss her again, sliding his hand only a little up her thigh from her knee.

Natalie inhales deeply as he returns her feelings and verbalizes them. She kisses him back with growing passion as the emotion of their powerful connection brings her entire being into alignment with Marcus.

Marcus gets into the kissing and absently strokes her thigh.  He knos how she’s been feeling, so he asks.  “Do you think you’re up for some sexu time, or do you think we should just go lay down in the bed.  Maybe watch a movie and chill?”  he is up for pleasing her .. in any way she sees fit.

“Mmmm” she murmurs as they break the kiss and he begins to talk. She thinks about it “Let’s start with the movie idea and see where it goes? I’m moment to moment with feeling ok and then suddenly like total shit again.” She laughs “So I’ll keep you posted and try not to puke on you. Thank you for being so understanding.”

The words make Marcus laugh.  “I’d really appreciate you not puking on me.”  he gathers her in his arms and stands, knowing he’s being old fashioned and spoiling this incredibly strong woman, but the feeling .. the need to .. overwhelms him.  He carries her into the bedroom and sets her in his bed and then joins her.

Natalie giggles when she’s scooped up and carried. The only man she’s ever not objected to doing this to her is in fact Marcus. As he sets her in the bed she pulls up the covers, liking the smooth feeling of his cool sheets. In fact they feel amazing and so comfortable she feels herself settling in and finally feeling some relief. She’s vaguely aware of his moving around and setting up a laptop. She’s pretty sure she’s agreed to a movie even and hears the beginning of it but after all her sickness finds she drifts off to sleep before the story even gets going. Natalie is very at ease in Marcus' big bed and sleeps deeply, contentedly and fully.