2020-04-10 - The Festival of Farting Unicorns - Daphne McLeod's 12th Birthday

Daphne McLeod sat up high on a kitchen table chair in front of her Mom's laptop. She was the Queen after all, the queen of the farting unicorns. She stared at the list of her guests arriving as it grew with a look of satisfaction. The name Jeff Russel appeared and so did her friend Penny's face.

"Penny!" Daphne beamed and waved at her.

As if on cue, Daphne's sisters crowded in on either side of her, also waving at Penny. The McLeod girls were covered with glitter like some magical deranged war paint. In fact, knowing them, it may have been a war between them that placed it on each face. Daphne shoved little Lucy who was practically climbing onto the keyboard "Stop it Luc!!!! You'll break it!!"

"I will NOT!" Lucy wailed.

Penny winced in her window. Her little sister peeked her head around and then disappeared. Maisy was a quiet child and shied from loudness and crowds. Penny was much the same. She had never understood the wildness of the McLeod girls but she was nonetheless intrigued by it.

Tristan Yamada called out to the group "Hi there,,,Happy Birthday Daphne," He looked around awkwardly "Is Tony or Mason on yet?" Tristan had his own Zoom because he was one of the older ones.

Mason’s window pops up.  His picture is crisp and sharp.  Of the older kids, he arguably has the best computer … arguably.  It’s a toss up between him and Tony Penhall, but neither boy really fought about it.  They used their computers for completely different things.  “I’m here.  Tony’s probably still doing his hair.”  he mock teases.  “Happy Birthday Daphne.”  he waves.  His eyes scan the windows.  “Where’s Mabel?”  he asks and then leans out of frame, shouting.  “Mabel!  Come on!  Jeeze!”  followed by another little voice, his little brother, screaming “Mabel!”  Mason sighs.  “Go see Mom, Robbie.  I bet she has cookies for you.”  he tries to get his brother out of their shared room.

Chloe laughs at her sisters and waves at the laptop.  Her sister had all the fun.  She waves at Penny and then laughs delightedly at Maisy.  “Hi Maisy!”  she calls.  Then she wonders aloud.  “Where’s Maddie?”

Madeline Greene’s screen pops up two seconds later sporting her own name.  Her grandfather had gotten her a brand new laptop the moment the island was reconnected to the ferry.  The quality was as good as Mason’s, if not better.  Her’s was a newer model than Mason had.  “Happy Birthday, Daphne!”  she calls and waves.  She’s dressed in pink .. she’s a girly girl that way, even though she has a love of technology that some might say was not at all ladylike.

Tony Penhall’s window pops up next and it looks like Mason may have been right.  He is dressed to the nines, as if for another show.  His hair is a perfect short afro and he smiles.  The lights in his room show it off to perfection, as if he is in a studio.  His voice, now that puberty had done its thing with him, was turning out to be as deep and rich as his fathers.  “Happy Birthday Dear Daphne.”  he sings, holding the last note for long seconds.  “Happy birthday … to.. You.”  The last two words also held long.  He smiles and waves at her, then blows her a kiss and a wink.

Daphne waves at Mason with one hand and smiles as she casually puts Lucy in a headlock with the other. Lucy has managed to climb back up again of course and has been stabbing at random computer keys with her glitter fingers. She noticed Chloe beside her and gives her a sideways look as if to say help me with the glitter troll. After hearing Mason try to bribe Robbie away she calls back “Gran! Do we have any cookies for Lucy….or tranq darts?” She beams at Maddie “Hi….nice outfit Mads.” As Tony’s face appears she’s dazed for a moment and then just grins stupidly at him as he sings and blows her kisses. Did he just blow her KISSES?! Her heart races and she and drops her little sister from her headlock right onto the floor on her head. Because of course how else does one drop a pesky little sister during such a serenade?

Lucy shrieks like a banshee and starts kicking at the bottom of Daphne’s chair, A robust short grey haired older woman, who many know as their Grandma Joan rushes past the screen “Daphne….you dropped her on her head! Lucy….Lucy stop…let me look sweetie……do not kick me child!”

Penny hops on her couch a little as she waves at Chloe and Maddie. She gives Mason and Tristan a little wave too and then looks a little taken aback by Tony’s big performance and focus’s on Daphne’s reaction. Did he KNOW? She bites her lip watching and then sees Lucy slip from view and hears her hit the floor and her hand goes over her mouth. Oh Daphne was going to get in trouble…..

Penny’s mom pads out of the kitchen and appears behind her on the screen at a distance as the chaos and screaming starts. Her mouth forms an O and she hovers for a moment before Penny’s dad nudges her and hands her a glass of white wine. They exchange some mutterings and a knowing look and retreat back to the kitchen.

Tristan looks relieved to see both Mason and Tony finally. His head had been down as he started a side Discord chat with the two of them so he hadn’t noticed everything until Tony sang and Lucy was dropped and screaming. Tristan smiled nervously, wondering where it would all go. His head turned as he seemed to be answering  questions from a parental units on his side too. There was a low male voice and a woman’s voice after that may have said something akin to “Effin lord of the flies over there…” He waved them off with a shrug.

Lucy could be seen hoisted over the shoulder, pounding fists and kicking the formidable Grandma Joan. She looked back at Daphne and said “I’ll be talking to you later my dear. The whole  kerfuffle wandered off down a hallway.

Mabel had missed the whole scene and the singing and her screen popped up with her holding a little bowl “We have BABIES!!!! BABIES!! Waddles was a GIRL!!! We have BABIES!!! I’ll give you one for your birthday Daphne! Happy Birthday…look!” She tipped the bowl forward and on top of some carefully arranged towels there was a small furry heap of a litter of baby hamsters.

From Tristan's window could also be heard his step father Michael Reinhardt, replying to his wife.  “And I thought the Stanley twins were bad.” and suddenly, after hearing Daphne’s grandmother yelling, begins to laugh.  “She dropped her sister on her head.  Jesus, that Tony is Alexandra’s own black Elvis!”

Mason heard the song and is shaking his head in disbelief at Daphne’s reaction.  He grabs his phone and adds his message to the Discord room the boys had.  ‘Told you she liked you, T.’  But to the chat, he just looks at the carnage until Mabel finally shows up.  Aloud to the camera and party, he says aloud.  “I thought she was just fat!  You sure wouldn’t stop feeding her.  Does she have legs again?”  he wonders.  He overhears Michael Reinhartd and protests “Hey!”

Chloe blinks at the song, then the blown kiss and, when their youngest sister is unceremoniously dropped on her head, she begins to shriek with laughter.  “Don’t worry, Granma.  Lucy has a hard head.”  she nearly screams over the din of her little sister being carried away.  She hears Mr Reinhardt in the background and giggles.  “We’re not THAT bad, Mr R,”  she argues.

Madeline watches the whole scene with a slightly shocked and disbelieving smile on her face.  Her own grandfather had parroted Mr Reinhardts words on a couple of occasions.  And at that moment, her grandfather appeared over her shoulder to look at the screen.  He pinches the bridge of his nose and shakes his head, then wanders off.  That makes Maddie giggle.  “I remember when Maisy would scream like that even if you DIDN’T drop her on her head.”  she says, hoping to cover for Daphne’s mistake.  Of course she knew that Daphne had a humongous crush on Tony Penhall, but did Tony know?  He blew her a KISS.  How could he not know how that would affect Daphne?  But Tony was a boy and she was finding out boys could be pretty clueless without even trying.

Tony smiles as he finishes the impromptu song, then gapes as things go very badly very quickly.  He hears the comment about being Alexandra’s next Black Elvis and makes a note to look that up as soon as he could.  Did that guy kill a little girl at a birthday party too?  “Oh fu…”  he cuts himself off.  “Dam…”  he cuts himself off again.  “Shee…  I mean … Jeeze.  Is she alright?”  he wonders.  He looks at his phone and blinks, reading Mason’s words in their private Discord.  He types back ‘Shut up, Mason.  That don’t prove nothin.’

Daphne hears Tristan's stepdad and looks momentarily grumpy and then her cheeks go a bit pink. She realizes how obvious her reaction was to Tony's song and tries to play it off like she was just being a mean older sister “Ooops...butter fingers! Sorry Lucy...” Her tone is singsong and taunting and from a distance a bedroom door slams shut. She nods at Chloe “She'll be fine.” And then almost a little too nonchalantly “Thanks Tony...that was cool.” She gives a little clap at Mabel “Yay for rodent babies! Thank you. We don't have a cage though...” Daphne muses. She holds up a glue gun like she's about to rob a craft store “Moving on.....did you all watch the video with the party invite? We're going to make horns now. You can probably use paper or felt.....but felt will hold better. I'll post it again in the chat just in case and give you all a minute to get supplies...”

Penny purses her lips at all the grown up comments. They weren't wrong. Penny had also looked a little shocked by Tony's almost swears. She had stared with an open mouthed smile at the sweet little hamster babies. “You can have my gecko tank Daphne.....the cat got them again.” She whispered. Maisy didn't know how they died and she didn't want to upset her. Penny loved crafts. She had already watched the video, gathered her supplies and made 3 felt unicorn horns. But she was good to make another. She still had sequins after all. Her work was precise, symmetrical and very tidy. Penny was a kid who followed directions exactly. Sheepishly she held up three fingers....each with a horn on them, one sky blue, one a peachy colour and one a soft lilac, all sequinned in the same pattern “I may have gotten a head start....but I still have more stuff to make another.”

Tristan snickerd at Tony's reply right into the camera and then sent him an emoji of a kissy face. He looked mortified when he realized everyone could hear Mike and gave him a surly teenage stare before looking confused about the craft video “We're making what now?” He watched a bit of it with a completely awkward expression and then yelled to one side “Mom....do we have a glue gun and like cotton ball thingies?” Felt...who kept felt in their house? He paused the video and stalked into the kitchen to dig through the recycling bin.

Mabel was petting the momma hamster and heard Tristan's Stepdad and parroted her brother “Hey!!” Then she retorted to Mason “Don't fat shame my beautiful creatures. You try growing new life!” Then as an afterthought “Oh yeah the craft!! Shoot...hang on!” She carefully set Waddles back in the bowl and ran around her room in all directions. Mabel was the definition of scatterbrained. There was no preplanning with her. She yelled to Mason “I have glitter!”

Mason could hear his sister running around her room.  He had a far more ordered mind, but not necessarily for crafts.  “Hold on, guys…”  he tells everyone before he leaves his room and runs down to the kitchen, taking the poultry scissors out of the knife block without telling anyone.  He then runs back upstairs and into the bathroom.  “Felt … felt .. felt …”  he murmurs looking around the bathroom in a near panic.  He opens a cabinet and sees a bag of cotton balls, which he grabs before looking behind the bathroom door.  BINGO!  He grabs it and can soon be seen in Mabel’s room, giving her a huge handful of cotton balls before backing up and spreading what looks like a green bathrobe on the floor.  He cuts it literally in half, then gathers his scissors, cotton balls and ‘felt’ and returns to his room.  “String .. string .. oh yea .. string.”  he doesn’t appear again for almost a minute, but when he does, he is holding the shoelace from a boot; probably his father’s.

From behind Tristan his father can be seen holding up his hands in surrender.  “Yea … arts and crafts … um … I think I need to read another briefing.”  he turns towards the bedroom.  “Babe, this is your department.”  he announces and vanishes.

Chloe returns the nod and adds a shrug.  “Of course she’ll be fine.”  She of course has all the necessary supplies.  It’s her sister's party, after all.  She watches the screen to see what their friends come up with.

Maddie has the supplies, provided to her by Penny’s grandmother, who lived upstairs from her and her grandfather.  She isn’t a terribly crafty girl, but she is willing to try.  Holding them up to the camera one at a time, she shows she is prepared before going to plug the glue gun in nearby.

Tony gives Daphne a charming smile.  He was just now realizing that she did indeed like him and he was flattered.  “You’re welcome.”  he replies.  “I think I got everything.”  He has felt, from the extra his father and he used for their mixing and musical equipment, as well as the glue gun.    He has cotton balls and scissors from the bathroom.  “Oh, I’m waiting on the…”  a soft knock can be heard and a minute later he looks off camera.  “Thanks Addy…”  he smiles a little bit goofily.

From off camera the voice of Addison O’Brian, Tony’s upstairs neighbor and old babysitter, can be heard.  “Here’s your string and ribbon, handsome.  Catch you later.”

Daphne slides the laptop back on the table to make room for both she and Chloe to work side by side. She was cutting out her felt and following along with the video and still listening to everyone “These are going to be great. I hope you all ate some beans…..” She giggles and sees Tony’s smile and giggles some more. Then she sees his interaction with Addison and she hits a wall of silence, looking affronted at the screen. Who was the ribbon bimbo? What was she doing calling Tony handsome? She was obscenely older! Catch you later? What?! She held the scissors like a dagger over the felt now, her jaw clenched. Realizing she was still on camera she exhaled, smiled and went back to cutting but her technique was rushed and rough.

Mabel ducks down with Mason and sounds delighted by his offerings “This is perfect…..the green…it’s like moss….we are the ancient ones! We own this forest realm” She holds the fabric stead and makes piles “I couldn’t find the glue gun Mason….oh but look at you. We’re so professional. Soldering and glue are interchangeable….This’ll be epic!!!”

Penny was well into her next horn in no time, at the ribbon stage while others were cutting still. She eyed Daphne’s reaction to Tony and Addison and winced for a moment. Then she heard Mason and Mabel and her jaw dropped. Oh this was a bad idea…..should she stop them? Surely they knew? And Daphne didn’t really expect them all to fart for real did she? Penny gave an awkward and encouraging smile to Maddie, who seemed to have her head on straight about the whole plan.

Tristan’s mother scoffed at her husband as he referred to crafts as her department and then swatted his ass as he passed her, forgetting all the kids on camera “Hang on Tris…we might have some of that….” She went to a nearby desk and started opening drawers.

Tristan walked back towards the screen with some flyers from the blue bin and shuddered as his mom smack Mike’s ass in front of all his friends. Did they HAVE to? Oh god! He hoped no one saw that. He missed what was going on while he was looking for stuff but came back to Mabel and Mason seemingly absent from their screens. Tony was still there though, with a goofy grin. Did he like that Daphne liked him? Should he be teased for that until the end of time? His mother’s hands deposited some options in front of him. None were a glue gun but there was a formidable amount of duct tape. He could work with that. He cut the flyer into the horn shape and started ripping the tape.

Chloe heard Addison off screen and watched her sister’s reaction.  With a sigh, she bumps her shoulder against Daphne’s.  “I can feel the gas coming!”  she declares, hoping to get her sisters mind off of things that were not farting or unicorns or horns.

Madeline also notices and swallows at Chloe’s words.  She is about to open her mouth and say something when she hears Mabel speak and she blinks, her project forgotten as she stares into her webcam.  Maddy was always quite shy and she didn't know what to scream anyway.

Tony stared after Addison, not noticing any other reaction to his interaction with her.  But he swallows hard and turns back to the screen just in time to see Tristan’s mom smack Mike in the ass.  “Dude … your parents…”  he says, almost like a warning.  Then he hears Mabel and his eyes flick to her window where he sees Mason and Mabel with a soldering iron instead of a glue gun.  “Mase, you idiot!  No!”  he shouts.

Mason nods at his sister.  “Close enough.  I’ll just melt this…..”  he touched iron to fabric, planning on leaving it for a second to let it melt into a seal.

From the hallway comes a bellow.  “Babe, have you seen my bathrobe?”  It's Mason’s father.

Wincing, Mason abandons his project, stands and quickly closes the door to the room.

The soldering iron gets abandoned as the hamster bowl tips over and the mamma and babies start to make a break for it "Oh no!" Mable shrieks "Waddles come back...they're too small to run!" She vaguely hears their Dad's voice as she scoops up the furry family and tries to contain them. Mabel gets a confused expression on her face and looks around sniffing at the air. Something smelled burny....

Daphne gave Chloe a small smile and nodded "Good....we need to be farting unicorns." She checked the screens, intentionally ignoring Tony's. Her eyes narrowed at the Stanley twins screen "Um......."

Penny is beside herself now watching the abandoned soldering iron and can't hold back "Mabel....Mason!!" She looks around "MOOOM!!" She needs a grown up's authority if her friends are about to burn down their house.

Tristan shrank into himself at Tony's comment. Dammit he had seen. He sneered at him as he ripped tape with his teeth, working on what was clearly a monstrosity of a horn now. As everyone focussed in on Mabel and Mason Tristan let slip "Holy shit you guys..."

Chloe stares at the screen with her sister, mouth agape.  “Oh … this is ….”  she almost moans and then nearly squeals in delight “AWESOME!”

Madeline’s eyes nearly pop out of her head.  “Mason!”  she shouts, then hears Penny calling for her mother and thinks that is a good idea.  “Get water Mason!  It’s a FIRE!”

Tony half catches Tristans sneer and slipped curse, which nearly stuns him more than the developing problems at the Stanley house.  He sits back in nearly shocked amazement.  “Holy fuck, Mason….”  he breathes.

Mason is leaning against his sister's bedroom door, as if to keep a zombie out.  He hears his sister and then all kinds of yelling and swearing.  He turns to see not only small mammals running away, but his project suddenly burst into flames.  “Oh fuck me!”  he yells and, abandoning the door, he snatches the soldering iron plug from the wall, grabs the remains of his father’s bathrobe and throws it over the small fire to suffocate it.  He beats at the flames grumbling various and sundry curses aimed at helping him put out the fire before his father finds out what’s happened.  Fine grandson of the fire chief HE turned out to be.

Ford Stanley throws the door open violently hearing swearing, the word fire and smelling smoke. "Kids!!! What the HELL are you DOING in here?!" He's in his oldest and most stained pajamas and had been seeking the robe to toss something over them and take out the trash. He dives down to his knees beside Mason and checks he's got the fire out, patting down the robe on top as well "My robe..." He says tiredly "Why Mason why?" Seeing it's out he lifts the robe and sees the soldering iron. Then he just stares Mason down and turns to extend the stare to Mabel. It's that look. The look a parent can reduce a child to smallness, utter disappointment.

Mabel crumbles and sells out her brother. With a sob she wails "It was Mason's idea. I'm sorry Daddy!" The hamster bowl tips again and the small creatures stampede like a tiny adorable rodeo.

Robbie runs in and then back out the hallway after the hamsters with a delighted squeal.

Wendy flies in after him "Is something burning?!" She takes in the scene and hangs back, observing. Ford's on it. Mabel is crying. She turns to look at Mason, doubling the disappointment rays in his direction.

Penny's parents were on the screen on either side of her face watching too, the whole family with wide eyes. Little Maisy was popped up in front, just up to the bridge of her nose looking very curious.

Stephanie had started to hiss at Tristan from across the room about his language, making  a small symbol beside her head "Tris...lil ears..." She notices a flash of flame on his screen and forgets to call him out and just swoops in "What on fire? Mike get over here...."

Daphne looks at Chloe's delighted reaction and gives her a shove but can't deny the truth of it. The Stanley twins always brought something extra, so extra. She knew the timing was terrible but she started to get the giggles. It came on strong and she couldn't stop. She turned around, not wanting to get her friends in more trouble for her antics or make a total fool of herself in front of Tony. He was so cool after all. He swore like it was as natural as breathing.

Michael Reinhardt runs into the living room and stops short, taking in the screen and scene with wide eyes and a blink.  Searching the screens again, he notes he isn’t the only adult watching. And just shakes his head.  “It looks like it’s under control.”  he rumbles.

Hearing the word ‘Fire”, Police Chief Josh Greene comes hurrying out of his bedroom and into his granddaughters.  He takes in the scene … or rather scenes … with a professional calm before he sighs.  “I agree, Reinhardt.”  he does another sweep of the windows and then nods to himself.  “Ford has it well in hand.  I think we can let him deal with this.” Although he knows that by the time Ford is done, Mason might well wish the police had handled it instead of his father.

Madeline watches her grandfather speak to Officer Reinhardt about the fire and then decide to let Mr Stanley handle it.  She looks for Chloe, but doesn’t see either one of the McLeod girls, so she looks at Penny, blowing out a relieved breath.

Tony watches with huge eyes, still shaking his head when Mason’s father comes in to help put out the fire, Tristan’s step-dad comes in and Maddy’s grandfather even shows up on the screen.  “Oh my god, Daphne, this is the best party EVAH!”  this was probably not what she planned, but it was super exciting and cool now that he knew no one was going to die in a fire.

Chloe barely resists the shove, trying to take in all the scenes at once.  It is chaos.  Pandemonium.  And she loves it.  Trying to not giggle was not an option, considering her sister was.  Grabbing onto Daphne, she giggles too, pulling them both out of the range of the web camera.  She hears all of the talk, and after Tony speaks she elbows her sister and gives her a thumbs up, without stopping her giggling for one second.

Mason backs off when his father enters and looks around.  When his father asks why, he sighs deeply.  “It was the closest to felt I could find.”  he explains and then can almost hear the horn of the bus that Mabel throws him under.  He gapes at her.

Ford looks down at the wreck of his robe and then between his kids and wife. He had heard the voices of Michael and Josh and was well aware that Wendy was also in the doorway now ready to back him up. He noticed Mason had unplugged the soldering iron and smothered the fire correctly. His father’s and their training hadn’t been entirely wasted on them. With a sigh he looks back at the computer. It was that McLaoed kid’s birthday and all Mason and Mabel’s friends were waiting. He didn’t want to punish all these kids and this could have been way worse. His eyes bore into Mason again “You did the right thing about the fire. We’ll talk about the rest of your choices AFTER the party. Come see me when it’s done…with all your devices.” He took the soldering iron and then turned on Mabel “Both of you. This was not just Mason and I know it.”

Mabel’s lip quivered for a minute and then she drew herself up and nodded “I’m sorry Daddy.” And then more quietly “I’m sorry Mason.” She had panicked and committed the ultimate sibling betrayal but their dad had seen through it.

Down the hall Robbie shouted “I caught the hamsters! But they’re eating all the bathroom garbage in the can…”

Wendy grumbled and went to deal with Robbie and the rodents with Ford leaving behind her.

Mabel didn’t dare move, knowing how much trouble she was in. But you could see it was stressing her not to go see what her little brother was doing with her creatures.

Penny’s parents backed off her screen and exchanged glances before wandering off again. Penny looked back at them and then awkwardly at her friends screens. She heard the giggles of Chloe and Daphne from their screen but couldn’t see them. They must have hit the deck.

Tristan again looked mortified by Michael having a chat with Josh Greene through his screen and his mother’s hovering. The Stanleys were handling it. Why were his parents so ever-present? He’d love to chime in with Tony, but he has no privacy right now and doesn’t want commentary from Mom or Mike on any kind of joke he might crack to his friends. He knew he didn’t have it as bad as Mason though. Their dad was a different kind of scary, a quiet storm. Tristan had a sinking feeling this punishment was going to put a dent in their pending D&D campaign.

Daphne got her giggles out and dragged herself back to her chair. She realized that Tony had said it was the best party ever and in her elation from laughing still, flashed him a dazzling smile. She was a pretty girl with big grey eyes and long straight golden blonde hair and the kind of lips that were a little bit ruby even without lipstick. The glitter on her face had faded and rubbed off so now it was just subtle glints here and there with a bit more around the edges of her eyes looking almost intentional. She darted her eyes sideways and saw Mabel’s expression and then her smile turned to sympathy “I’m sure your mom will make sure the hamsters are OK.” She didn’t even know what to say to Mason. He had born the brunt of it. Having sisters she knew it all ways it could go.

Grandma Joan had been lurking in the background, listening. Things had clearly gone south but the Stanley’s house wasn’t burning to the ground at least. Maybe it was time to move this party along. She looked down at Chloe “Why don’t I go get the cake and we’ll sing to Daphne hmm?”

Michael takes a last look at all of the windows.  The kids might need some therapy, but that seemed par for the course for anyone who knew the Stanley twins.  He sees Tristan’s look and reaches out for Stephanie’s hand, tugging her towards the bedroom.  “I have to get ready for my shift.”  he announces.  He is only in his uniform pants and hardly needs his wife to get dressed, but he knows Tristan needs some privacy.  He’s at that age.  Living in a tiny house, privacy could be hard to come by, but the walls were solid and relatively soundproof.  If Stephanie comes with him, he’ll distract her at least until it’s time for him to go to work.

Mason sighs deeply and looks between his parents and his sister.  There was only ever one punishment for him, so he knew what was coming.  Torture.  Pure torture.  The only question would be the length of the torture.  And they had a D&D game coming up.  But he looks at Mabel and blows out his breath.  “Don’t worry about it.” He forgives his sister.  Moving to the desk, he picks up two of the cupcakes they had, as since they were in isolation, they couldn’t have Daphne’s cake.  They all had to provide their own.  He returns to the camera and makes himself smile.  “Cake!!!”  he toasts with his to show he is ready to move on.  More than ready to move on.

Chloe tries to stop giggling when Mason and Mabel get in trouble, but it isn’t easy.  She would never forget this day.  Hearing Mason, she looks at her grandmother.  “Cake and singing sounds good, Granma.  Thanks.”  she moves to her sister's side and whispers in her ear.  “Maybe Tony will drown the rest of us out singing just for you.”  it is part teasing and part a true hope.  Tony Penhall singing to her sister would make her entire life.

Madeline watches her grandfather leave and doesn’t so much see the twins get in trouble as hear it.  And she can guess Mason’s punishment, too.  She is one of those kids who hardly ever gets in trouble.  In the years since she was given to her grandfather, she had made mistakes, but her grandfather had only explained what she had done wrong.  Usually it was something she did not know was wrong because of her life with her mother and her many boyfriends.  Then she learned and it never happened again.  “Yea!  Cake!”  she cheers, sincerely hoping that the farting plans had been cancelled.  She reaches for the cupcake she had baked with her grandfather and held it in front of her for them to see.

Tony watches the hammer of justice come down at the Stanley house.  Much as he liked his friend, Mason got in trouble more than anyone he had ever known.  He smiles at the camera and reaches for his cupcake.  Even though he is a very good singer and knows it, he doesn’t plan to steal the show from his friends if he can help it.

Daphne turns beet red at her sister’s suggestion and elbows her. She notices all the cupcakes and smiles but purposely doesn’t look at Tony’s  window as she blushes. Behind her, Grandma Joan carefully lights the candles and then calls back “Lucy…you can come and sing…” Joan watches the tattooed shirtless form of Michael and  gives a delighted little “Mmmm.” In the background followed by a muttered “I’ll have what she’s having…”

Daphne gets a look of surprise as not just Lucy but her mom appears beside her too. Her mom had been getting better but was still so easily tired. Daphne hadn’t expected to see much of her today since the prep for the party had really wiped her out by mid day. Her mother slides her arm around all three girls with a melancholy smile “Ok ready everyone?” Lucy is extra good when their mom is near, always.

Joan steps in with the lit cake and begins the song in her slightly raspy voice “Happy Birthday….”

Mabel sheepishly holds her cupcake and still looks a bit guiltily at Mason. As the full cake appears and the singing starts she puts on a  smile for her friend and chimes in “To you…”

Penny had a cupcake in reach as well. She had made it herself and a tin for her family. They were iced in colours that matched her unicorn felt even because Penny loved it when things matched. The cupcake in her hand now was chocolate with a lavender coloured icing. She also chimed in, a bit off key “Happy Birthday….to you”

Tristan had a muffin. It was all they could find on short notice. He had slathered some peanut butter on top and a few chocolate chips. It was a blueberry muffin so he might regret his choices. After his parents wandered off he looked way more at ease. He gives Mason a little encouraging wink and then eyes Tony, waiting for another serenade. Quietly he joins in “Happy Birthday dear Daphne….”

Chloe sings along, trying to gently lean into both her sister and her mother.  She knows it means a lot that their mother got up for this.

Mason sings with gusto, trying to make up for his behavior and take his mind off his grounding.  The result is like cat nails on a chalkboard.  He catches the wink and is among the first to stop singing … which everyone may well be grateful for.

Madeline sings happily, toasting her friend with her cupcake as she does.

Tony keeps up with the singers, but keeps his voice down below most of the others.  Mason’s voice makes him wince slightly, but after the song ends with “Happy birthday to you.”  he pauses and adds in his best neo-soul voice.  “Ohhhh  Happy birthday to you dear Daphne.” and again offers her a sweet smile.

Daphne laps up the singing, looking with love at her mom, her Gran and both her sisters. She turns to the screens and beams at her friends, giving a little eye twitch as Mason gets going. She exhales and giggles at Maddy and Penny and then blushes fiercely at Tony’s ending and looks down.

“Make a wish sweetie.” Grandma Joan prompts.

Make a wish indeed! Daphne purses her lips and then thinks, closing her eyes and blows out all the candle but one and then darting a look at her sister quickly blows that one out too, knowing the teasing that could ensue. She takes that candle out and licks the icing off the bottom defiantly and declares “Let us eat cake!!”

The cake is set down and cut and the McLeod family digs in. Daphne loves this cake. Her Gran had made angle food cake with layers of cream and strawberries. The strawberries had been thawed but with enough sugar, who cares. It was delicious. After her piece is done she slides her unicorn horn on, looks at the camera with a mischievous glint in her eye, bares down and lets out a quick but loud toot of a fart.

Grandma Joan groans from the kitchen to where she and Cheryl have retreated. Cheryl laughs.

Mabel makes a horrified face at her brothers singing as she tries to sing along painfully. When Tony gets all suave she stares right at Daphne with an opened mouth eager grin. Then when the one candle is still lit she lets out a little “Ooooooh! One boyfriend!” And then chomps her own cupcake eating half of it in the first bite. When the fart challenge starts she sighs that she has no horn but holds her index finger up on her head and pushes and pushes “Aww come on…I ate so many beans……nothing’s coming!”

Penny ‘s head tilts and cranes around as she sings along, blinking at Mason, smiling at Chloe and Daphne and Maddy and then looking surprised by Tony and the whole candle thing. Boys were so alien. She didn’t understand the pull yet. She rolled her eyes a little as the farting started and shook her head, indicating she had no plans to partake.

Tristan finished singing and watched the candle blow out with a snicker. He quickly texted Tony under the table “One boyfriend…sucker!” He took a bite of his muffin and chewed for a long time. It was interesting. Blueberry and peanut butter wasn’t ideal but it wasn’t his worst creation. Grinning at the farting and eyeing Mason and Tony he stood up, turned his butt sideways to the camera and  made a little hip motion and then grumbled “Dammit, silent but deadly…oh god….I’m going to die over here….” He laughed.

Chloe smirks as her sister blows out her candle.  She opens her mouth to tease and then realizes one of the best resents she could give her sister is to NOT tease her.  Birthdays come but once a year.  She cuts a good loud fart, then shoves the entire cupcake in her mouth chewing and grinning like a fool.

Mason listens and glances at his phone, seeing the text from Tristan to Tony.  Looking at the camera he snorts and shoves the cupcake into his mouth and farts at the exact same time.  He calls to his sister.  “Try harder, Mabel.  Geeze we gotta do SOMETHING right today!”

Madeline’s eyes go wide and she nibbles at her cupcake.  She hears the ‘one boyfriend’ thing and blushes and then, while Penny shakes her head, Maddy covers her face in both hands … not farting, but blushing to beat the nation.

Tony watches all with amusement and looks at his phone.  Eyes down he replies to Tristan.  ‘Least I know what to DO with a girl.’ he teases right back.  Then, before he can fart, which he had planned to do, his phone buzzes in his hand and he groans.  “Temp time.”  he rolls his eyes.  With his father being one of the essential workers in town, both of them took their temperature twice a day looking for the fever symptom of that stupid virus.

Daphne  laughs hard at Mason teasing Mabel and cheers her on “Come on Mabel!” She bites her lip and looks thoughtful when Tony says “Temp time”. She knows what that means from her Dad and misses him terribly. She gets uncharacteristically quiet for a moment, picking at cake crumbs on her plate.

Mabel screws up her face and keeps trying and then stops clowning around as her mother appears with two thermometers. She slumps a bit. This was a drag. She knew it was necessary though. She takes hers, clicks the button and sticks it in her mouth as her mother turns to Mason.

Penny felt a camaraderie with Maddy for not farting it up and gave her an extra smile. Then she looked sympathetically at her friends who were getting thermometers. She knew they were closer to everything scary.  As wild as they were, she did miss the extended chaotic family dinners with the Stanley side of the family.

Tristan got serious as well when he heard Tony’s alarm as one went off in his home too. His mom had entrusted his charting to him because the nagging option had caused them all to fight. Tristan dutifully walked to where he kept his thermometer in the kitchen, did the deed and made a note on a little chart on the fridge. He glanced towards his parent’s room and made a face. They had been in there awhile….yuck.

Chloe bit her lip when Tony mentioned it was temp time.  She’d been hearing the term ‘New Normal’ and for a lot of them taking their temperature twice a day was exactly that.  She and her sisters didn’t have to because, even though their father was the grocer, he had moved in with his brother, her uncle Wally.  So she watches them, her thoughts turning to her father.

Mason sighed when his mother appeared and handed him the thermometer, but he took it into his mouth without protest.  He was in enough trouble.  After the beep, he takes it out and looks at it.  Normal.  He always feels a bit of relief when he sees that.  His mother’s look of relief was sometimes scary, like she was afraid they’d all have a temp spike and get really sick.

Madeline takes her thermometer and puts it in her mouth, waiting for the beep.  Her temperature is normal and she breathes a sigh of relief.  “Ninety-eight point six, Granpa!”  she calls and nearly slumps when he appears in her door.

“Same.  I’m off.  If you need anything…”   Josh replied to her

“Judith is upstairs.  I know.  Thanks.  Love you.”  she completes the sentence for him.

“Love you too.  See you tonight.”  and he heads out of the door.

Madeline watches the door close and then turns back to the camera and screen.  The idea of losing her grandfather absolutely terrifies her.

Tony moves the camera so that he can be seen sitting at his keyboard.  One the thermometer is in his mouth, he plays a neo-soul rendition of Happy Birthday as he waits for the results.  Song and temp taking done, he removes the thermometer and texts the results to his father.

Anyone paying attention may notice Michael Reinhardt in the background.  He goes into the bathroom and the water can be heard running.  Then he appears in uniform heading for the front door with a smile and a wave.








Tristan is a little zoned out after the temperature thing. He’s absently looking at the other screens. Mike passes behind him and he turns and waves back casually and then looks back with some epic teenage distain.





Mabel is contrite around their mom’s reaction too and gives a little sigh and then gets a sudden look of joy on her face and  waves both her hands and turns around, shaking her butt a little and farting loudly right at her brother.



Penny was fiddling with something off camera, probably a craft project and looked up a few times as people moved about, tony playing music, and then her head jolted up at Mabel’s fart and she started giggling a bit.





Daphne got a little dreamy eyed at Tony’s music and then burst out laughing at Mabel “Nice one!! OK…that’s a good end note. Thank you all for coming to my party. Please open some windows now.” She started waving and dramatically blowing kisses to all the windows, lingering a bit at Tony’s face but trying not to be too obvious.