2020-05-07 - Breakfast Buddies - Kaitlin and Sakura

Kaitlin Reinhardt understood completely that her grandchildren were too old to be walked to school by their grandmother.  Of course, when her abusive husband Heinrich died, she didn't try to.  She’s sat on the porch of her son John’s house while the kids all filed past on their way to school.  Then Seamus was 13 … in spades.  No … it was Tristan who was the 13 year old.  Not anywhere near the troublesome teen Seamus was, but he was still a teenager.

So when she picked up Sakura and little Jayla at the corner of Central and 4th, then walked them to the school on Academy, she was not too surprised to see Tristan running off with his friends.  He wasn't cruel to Jayla, who worshipped him.  He was just 13.

The plan was to drop Jayla off, turn onto 3rd and head back into town for a breakfast at the Breakfast Nook for the old friends.

Sakura held onto Jayla’s little hand and watched Tristan run off. She remembered when it had been his little hand too but now he was in the land of trying to be cool with his friends. They still had a bond though and she was happy he had fit in on this island and found his like minded tribe. But this little girl beside her was her light in the darkness right now. She sighed at Kaitlin as she let go of Jayla’s hand and she ran off to her little friends too and then walked with her friend towards breakfast. “I wish I could spend all my days with her…” She pined as they fell into step.

Kaitlin watched as Jalya ran off.  She had her little group of friends as well.  As they walk down 3rd she hears the wistfulness in Sakura’s voice.  She knows that her friend is still suffering after all of these years at the loss of her husband.  “She is a lovely girl.  But we have to let them spread their wings.  We can’t suffocate them.” 

Sakura laughed “I’m a helicopter Grandma. You know this. It’s funny I wasn’t like this with my kids…” She reflects “Gave them a lot more space. Maybe too much sometimes. But different times and there were the three of them together, well two and then the surprise baby when we had Ryan but they looked out for him too…” She tenses up. Garrett was gone as well as Hiro. There were so many layers to her grief she could never peel them all back.

Kaitlin moved slightly out of her way when a couple of the foster kids came barrelling out of Lydia Alvin’s house, laughing.  She knew most of the kids around and adored all of them, but for no she was concentrating on her friend.  Her grief was crippling, but she had come a very long way.  After the Cedar Point earthquake and then the one in Alexandra which left them all stuck here.  “Well, I think maybe grandparents should be allowed to hover.”  she states.  “I just don’t.  I don’t like being in the way.”  she smiles.  “Let’s have breakfast.  I don’t think we’ve ever eaten at the Breakfast Nook when they had normal supplies.”  although all of the restaurants in town did well when the island was cut off … but it might be nice to see what it was like before life on Alexandra changed for so long.

Sakura brightened a little at the breakfast thoughts and enjoyed the stream of children from the Alvin house as well. “Yes it has been awhile. Unless you count that virtual thing I tried to go to. I still can’t figure out my microphone. I should have had Ryan or India set me up. I heard her down the hall so hers worked. Sometimes it’s just easier to put the TV on though.” She admits. TV had maybe been too much of a companion for her while Jayla slept. Now she was out and about in the street though with her friend. It was novel. She reached the door of the breakfast Nook first and pushed/pulled it open, holding it for Kaitlin. It smelled wonderful inside.

Kaitlin chuckled.  “Fiona and the boys taught me how to use mine.  I think Michael wanted to, but he couldn’t understand why I couldn’t figure it out.  Of course John was hopeless.  But anyway ….it isn’t the same at home.  You still have to look around your house at the dishes and things.  This is the whole experience and we deserve the whole experience.”  she went through the door as it opened and hesitated, as she often did.  She couldn’t decide if they should sit by the window looking at the street or the window where you could watch your meal prepared.

Sakura watched her friend look between the two tables and gestured to the window looking out. She was reaching to the world a little bit. And sitting and watching people prepare food in a  restaurant kitchen made her heart ache for Hiro and Garrett even more. “Let’s watch the world Kai. It’s so sunny out today…” She said wistfully. Even thinking about the old restaurant made her eyes misty and she sat down and shrunk into herself a bit as she stared out.

Kaitlin thought she would never be able to make decisions.  Oh, she did it from time to time but when she got indecisive, she got indecisive.  Heinrich made the lion's share of decisions for her nearly all of her adult life.  Gratefully she sits.  “Oh it is a lovely day.”  she agrees. She looked at the menu which seemed to be old.  They must have gone right back to the old way of doing things.  With a grin, she asks.  “How was your quarantine?”

Sakura turned at the question and had to laugh a  bit “How was my quarantine? Did you ever think you would ask anyone that Kai?” She flips open her menu and glances vaguely at it. “Mmm   well let’s see….we made playdough and watched all of the Storybots and Pocoyo and the Pajanimals…..oh and there was finger painting and legos and cookie baking...although I don’t recommend eating Jayla’s cookies every time...she drops a fair few on the floor still and licks all the spoons. Oh and the adventures in the dollhouse were quite dramatic. That girl has quite the imagination….” It’s very clear Sakura’s life revolves entirely around the 3 year old granddaughter and she casually asks after “What did you do?”

Kaitlin laughed.  “No … no I never thought I would.” she admits.  She listens tot he story and giggles.  “Oh almost the same but with Ulick.”  she jokes.  “Actuallyit was nice.  Ulick and Yuki went fishing off of the patio every day.  They did quite a bit of bonding, considering how very different they can be.  It was very good to have my brother back.”  she looks at the menu.  “And I went out on the patio and Maddy Green and I would yell little conversations at each other.  She got to walk around when the Chief walked Daisy.  Oh!  She had puppies.  Daisy, not Madeline.”

Sakura has to laugh now at the idea of almost the same but with Uilick. She pictured the big man with playdough trying to model fish with Yuki. “That’s funny. I’m glad he and Yuki made friends….Yuki needs some…” She knew the Hiro shaped hole in Yuki’s heart must still be gaping too. She looked amused by the story and about Maddy and the puppies and laughed again. Kaitlin had such a hilarious way of wording things. “Yes...Daisy indeed. How many puppies? Ryan never mentioned that but he’s not really an animal person.” She runs her finger down the menu and sees blueberry pancakes and then taps the spot and closes it up, looking up again at Kaitlin.

Katlin nods and bites her lip.  She hadn’t meant to make Sakura think about Hiro by mentioning Yuki.  Sakura had helped her so much after Heinrich died .. now she could return the favor but had never felt able in all of these years.  OS she tries to change the subject.  “Lucky seven.”  she reports.  Chief Green will be finding good homes for them all, I’m sure.”  she pauses and considers the gruff chief of police.  “He only acts gruff, you know.  I see and hear him playing with Maddy … and her friends when they come by.  He seems a little …. Taxed … by the mcLeod girls but … ell ….”  she doesn't go on about the Mcleod girls … they’re a bit on the wild side, especially that Chloe.

Sakura smiles thinking of the chief playing with his grandaughter and her friends. He really didn't seem the type. She inhales as everything still reminds her of Hiro “Hiro would have loved Jayla…..he was great with Tristan. Although he was never as good with the teenage stuff.” she mused “Tristan sends me little videos of people playing video games...it’s an odd thing of his. I don’t understand how watching someone play a game and talk about it is as fun as playing the game yourself...oh and he has an online boyfriend in Australia!” She both laughs and looks pained. Maybe Tristan was just like Garrett, only he had come to it earlier. “I’m glad Tristan is growing up in a family and era where he feels comfortable being who he is..” Then she looks self conscious like she may have offended her friend “Not that you would have been unkind to Micheal when he was….” She trails off and looks down.

Kaitlin has narrowed down her choices and looks up when Sakura mentions an online boyfriend of Tristan’s.  “I do too, and no … I loved Michael no matter what.  That … that was … Heinrich.”  she sighs.  “But Tristan talked to Michael about it … and then Tristan started calling him Dad.  Oh!  You should have heard him, Sakura.  He was almost in tears.”  she suddenly gets wide eyes.  “Oh don’t tease him too bad, please.”  although part of her hopes Sakura ould tease michael.  Everyone else in the Reinhardt/Yamada clan was.  Loving sweet teasing.

Sakura puts  a hand on her heart “Stephanie didn’t tell me that yet and I haven’t seen as much of them.” She gets teary eyed too “He calls him Dad…” Her tears spill over “That makes my day…..Oh Kai you have no idea how many nights I cried for my daughter and her baby when that awful man left them at the hospital. I’m so grateful for Michael….so grateful.”

Kaitlin reaches for her friend's hand.  “He’s happy too.  So happy.  That is what made me cry, Sakura.  I just wanted Michael to be happy after the life I gave him.”  and now they are crying.  Two friends in a breakfast cafe.

Sakura squeezes Kaitlin’s hand and wipes at her eyes as the waitress comes and hesitates seeing the two women so emotional.

“Do you need a few more minutes?” She asks awkwardly.

Sakura laughs “No we may as well go ahead dear. I'll have the blueberry pancakes and a coffee please.” She had spent to much time crying she couldn’t really justify letting it stop the flow of life anymore. Besides placing the order meant the woman wouldn’t come back 2 minutes later with the same question.

Kaitlin starts when the waitress appears.  “Yes.  Ordering.  I .. um … apple waffles .. please .. thank you … oh and coffee.”  she made the decision quickly, but when the waitress goes away, she squeezes Sakura’s hands.  “Oh its .. kinda nice when I don’t have to wear my ‘everything is perfect don’t worry about me’ face.”  she sighs.  “Thank you, Sakura.  I’m sorry I’m not a better friend.”

Sakura looked incredulously at Kaitlin “Why would you say that? You’re an amazing friend Kai...probably the best I’ve had. I was so happy when we really became family too….”

Kaitlin looks across the table at her friend.  “I haven’t been able to help you.  The way you helped me when Heinrich died.”  she explained.  “His dying … was a relief .. like waking from a nightmare.  But when Hiro died … you loved him and he loved you … and I didn’t know how to relate to that.  And all I could do was imagine when Garrett .. if it had been John or .. or Michael …”  she coughs, almost chokes on the very idea.

Sakura started tearing up again “That’s no on you Kai. And you have helped...more than you know. It’s just so much….I still don’t know where to start. I mean I go to the grief group and you’d think I’d be getting to some...other place with this...but i’m not. I know it was different with Heinrich...I can’t even imagine that hell. Hiro was my best friend...like you and Yuki…” She trails off and quietly sobs, her hand over her face and her elbow now on the table, still holding Kaitlin’s hand with one hand though, allowing her friend to connect to her grief.

Kaitlin actually gasps when she mentions that Yuki is her best friend.  It was true, but somehow that connection had not truly connected.  She holds onto Sakura’s hand and tries to imagine how she would feel had Yuki died.  If Yuki died.  She holds Sakura’s hand even tighter, still not knowing what to do except for .. be there.

Sakura cried until the waitress wordlessly slid their food plates to them with cutlery and slipped away discreetly. Then she patted Kaitlin’s hand and backed hers up and wiped her face again “Food will help…” she said with a little laugh “Thank you for just being…..”

Kaitlin wipes her face when the food it brought to them.  She looks at it.  “Food helps everything.”  she inhales.  “Oh this smells INCREDIBLE.”  and she tastes it.  “Oh .. don’t tell Vncent but … these aren’t terrible.”  and she giggles.

Sakura looks curious “He hates the apple waffles? I mean he has high standards and that lasagna...wow….but maybe he’s just not an apple person. They look lovely to me.”

Kaitlin giggles.  “No … and he actually puts the apples in the batter!”  she gushes.  “But yes .. his lasagna.  He’s got a specialty in that for sure!”  she giggles and fills her mouth.

Sakura muses over all this and then digs into her blueberry pancakes and nods “Mmmhmm…” And then she can’t talk because they are just so delicious.

Food was definitely helping.  As a matter of fact it was damn distracting.  “Thanks for meeting with me, Sakura.”  she sighs happily.  “I needed to get out of the house.”

Sakura smiles as she swallows and then reaches for a  sip of coffee “Me too. What are the boys up to today...the big one and little one..” She jokes.

Kaitlin finishes her mouthful of apple waffles and reaches for coffee to help wash it down.   “Oh John is working.  It’s what he does.  I swear the police will have to go in there guns blazing because he will refuse to retire.” she rolls her eyes.  “Michael is probably working.  There was something happening around here last night.  I heard the sirens.”  she always worries when she hears them, as they are so rare on the island.  When she hears them, she assumes the worst.

Sakura frowned a bit about the sirens as she chewed. She worried for Ryan and Micheal now too. Then she dabbed her mouth with her napkin and dais “I actually meant yuki and Uilick…” she said with a small smile “Are they playing legos again?”

Kaitlin laughs.  “Oh THOSE boys ….”  she mock rolls her eyes.  “No Lego, but they have been exchanging stories.  You know …  I did something stupider than you did stories.  And they have been arguing the differences in potato farming and fishing as a profitable path.”  she snorts.  “I almost WISH it was Lego.”

Sakura goes wide eyed for a moment and then smiles “Oh dear….that could get ugly fast..” She giggles and then eats more looking more herslf than she has in a  very long time.

Kaitlin snorts.  “That’s when they get into an argument with Ulick growling in Gaelic and yuki in Japanese.  But it’s HILARIOUS!”  and suddenly she jumps like someone stuck her with a pin.  “I almost forgot.  We went into quarantine right after it …”  she pulls out her phone and finds a file.  “The end of Vincent’s ‘Welcome to the Reinhardt Family’ dinner.”  she offers the phone to Sakura.  She’s already seen it .. it’s good for a smile at least.

Sakura looks amused by the idea of the unlikely friends and then curiously takes the phone and watches the video of the lineup of men watering the greenery and singing that Irish song. She laugh coughs and puts a hand over her mouth and then hands it back shaking her head “How did this come to be? Because they did this at our old house once...maybe more than once….” She snorts.

Kaitlin laughs.  “Oh it’s been a tradition among the males since before the Famine I think.  Heinrich was never allowed to participate but .. when a male in the line gets married they do it.  I htink its one of thoes stupid things men do for no good reason.”  then she looks delighted.  “Oh .. did Michael sing for you?  I know he fell through the window.”

Sakura gestures with her fork “The window...that was the day indeed.” and then she looks curious “How did they manage to keep Heinrich out of it all?”

Kaitlin continues to look delighted.  “I don’t know what it is about those men and windows …”  she chuckles.  “Well Heinrich was maybe sic foot one .. wide and all.  John and Michael are both taller than he was and Michael is broader.”  she tells her friend.  “But Ulick is six seven, like  Colleen’s little brother.  He’s wide and solid.  And he is only one of my brothers.  I had four of them, but they’ve all gone now.”

Sakura looks fascinated by all this “How did I not know you have 4 brothers? That explains why these men don’t phase you. I came from a family of girls...three of us. I’m the youngest. I have one sister left, Tomiko. She’s in Vancouver in a care home unfortunately.”

Kaitlin shrugs.  “I was closest to Ulick, for one.  He’s younger than I am. My older brothers were very protective … maybe even to a fault.  Remember I told you my mother wanted me in dresses all the time?  My older brothers enforced that a lot.  It definitely got annoying if they thought my hemline was too close to my knee as opposed to my ankle.”  she sighs.  “Ulick would just watch me…. And pound any boy he thought got to thinking impure thoughts.  Heinrich … he fooled us all …”

Sakura frowned a bit “I don’t want to speak out of turn…” She hesitated “But it's like your controlling family set you up for a controlling husband...I don’t doubt that they meant it with love….and it’s not my culture so tell me if I’m being offensive….” She broke off….

Kaitlin nodded.  “Hindsight, Sakura.”  she speaks quietly.  “Ulick came around first.  But my other brothers … I think .. when they realized what they’d .. helped to .. to make me?”  she isn't’ sure the words are right.  “They faded … I never saw them much.  And then they died .. only Ulick is left .. but he’s my favorite so I try not to feel bad.”  She looks a little odd.  “I // I was told that Japanese women were very subservient …  I know my source was probably wrong but .. that's what I heard.”

Sakura looks sympathetic, “I’m sorry about that.” And then she concedes, nodding “They can be. I was born in Canada but my parents were very traditional with roles….Hiro and I didn't want that so much. We talked it all through. I mean we’re still products of our culture but we knew we’d be setting an example for our children too….it’s a hard balance. I think our kids are doing better with it.” She admits.

Kaitlin nods.  “Well you and Stephanie .. and of course India and Fiona .. and that Addison .. strongest women I’ve ever known.”  shesighs, feeling she’ll never be but happy to bask in their light.

Sakura looks taken aback to be ranked as one of the strongest women anyone knew. “I don’t feel very strong these last few years...and I agree with you about the others...although I don’t really know Addison aside from to see her in passing. But I’ll take your word for it.”

Kaitlin nods.  “If I’d been through your pain … if I’d loved Heinrich and lost Michael …  I would have curled in a little ball and died.  And you haven’t.  You took care of Jayla … and you went out after a while.  I could never do that.”  she insists.  “Oh Addison is a fiery redhead, just like Fiona.”  she gasps again and touches Sakura’s elbow.  “They’re having a costume wedding.  They haven’t sent out invitations yet, but … can you help me with my costume?”

Sakura took a long breath and nodded “I did feel like dying many times over. Jayla’s my light though...I don’t know what I would have done without her. A costume wedding? How fun. What do you want to costume as?” She’s curious now.

Kaitlin doesn’t hesitate.  “A fairy.”  she nods her head.  “But not one of those trash fairies that look like prostitutes.  Something classy.”

Now Sakura started laughing and laughing. Kaitlin was too much. “OK, a non prostitute fairy….we can probably figure that out. I made Steph a fairy costume when she was little...very PG as she was 6…..I could redo it in a grown up size. I made the wings out of coat hangers with nylons over them that we put sparkly stuff on...and then a flouncy little fancy dress. She wanted a wand. Do you want a wand?” She’s slightly teasing.

Kaitlin looks incredibly grateful.  “Oh that sounds lovely.”  she considers.  “I haven’t seen a fairy since I was a girl in Ravenbaille ….  I’ve never seen a fairy with a wand.”  her voice is soft, but actually serious.  “So never mind that.”

Sakura looks intrigued “Did you have fairy dolls as a girl? I think the wands were a bit of a Disney add on…”

Kaitlin shakes her head.  “No.  I saw real fairies when I was a girl.  I was very lucky.  Only one child in every generation can see faries.  They don’t have to believe, but they will see them.  I was one of those children.”  she sighs, happily and her smile is peaceful and genuine.  Then it fades a bit.  “But .. around 12 …  they fade even from the chosen children.  I was a happy, curious and open minded child.  That's why they chose me.”

Sakura leans in, genuinely listening. She blinks for a bit and then just lets out a “Hmmm.” And then looks like she’s digesting and accepting the possibility. “Where did you find them? Are they like..” She gestures around “Everywhere or more like in natural places?”

Kaitlin looks a little relieved that she isnt being called insane.  “Natural places.  Sell, that’s where I say them, but I lived in a very rural area.  Here … I bet kids can see them anywhere almost.  The Forest, The Woods, even the Inlet.”

Sakura ponders all this “So you don’t think they’re just in Ireland?” she tilts her head. “What did they look like?”

Kaitlin shakes her head.  “Oh I don’t think so.  They’d be wherever there were good children.” she considers.  “They looked like …”  she frowns slightly.  “It’s been so long… Like a girl in a pretty flowing dress …  with wings.  Not too big … not tiny either.”

Sakura was clearly rapt “Are they only girls or are there male fairies? And yes I believe you. I lived in a  town with some pretty supernatural overtones. It started a whole cult...which I’m not sure was really the way to go but it did get me to thinking…”

Kaitlin looks younger in her excitement.  “Of course there are males.  They have to have babies, silly.”  she nods.  “And I would think boys could see them too.  I admit I don't know what kind of boy they have to be but …”  she shrugs.

Sakura holds up her coffee cup “Would they fit in a  cup? I’m just trying to understand the size…..not that I think they should be contained. Do they...did they speak?”

Kaitlin thinks on it.  “Yes, I think they would.  They could stand on your hand.”  and then she sighs.  “Oh they speak, just not any language humans can understand.  They sing too.  But they are like cats .. let you know what they want.  They kept me from getting lost as a girl.”

She sets the cup back down “Kaitlin this is fascinating. You should write this into a book…..”

Kaitlin demures immediately, as she tends to do.  “Oh I could never ….  No …  I’ll share the story with the kids.  Maddy and Jayla ... But writing?  I’m not smart or good enough.”

Sakura huffs at her “You just told it all to me in a way that would make me want to read it in a  book. If you can say it you can write it. You’re already doing it. And you are smart Kai...don’t sell yourself short. You’re a natural storyteller.”

Kaitlin blushed crimson.  “No ..  I .. I couldn’t.”  she even sinks into herself a little bit, as if afraid.  She looks out of the window and then at the clock on the wall.  “We should get back.”  she says quickly.  “I'm sure the school lunch bell rang by now ….”  she panicked, but her anxiety has kicked in over the book.

Sakura backed off looking humble “I’m sorry. I overstepped. I just love you and think you're fabulous dear friend. I wasn’t trying to push. And you’re right, we probably should get back…” She was giving her friend an out if she needed one.

Kaitlin took her hand and stood.  Suddenly she hugs Sakura as if they hadn’t seen each other in years.  “I'm trying, Sakura.  I really am.”  she sobs once.  “Thankyou for trying to help me.”  and she lets go and turns, ready to leave the restaurant and head for her home.

Sakura hugged her back with a squeeze “You're doing great Kaitlin, and you helped me today a lot. I’m glad we did this.” She follows her old friend out into the world, feeling like she was ready to spend a bit more time embracing it.