2020-05-15 - Aftermath 1 - Overwhelmed - Gareth, Logan, Hank, Susan, Lydia and Dr Singh

May 15, 2020 12:13 a.m

Gareth had driven the ambulance back with Logan in silence after taking bodies to the morgue. He parked, unpacked what needed unpacking and took off his turn out gear. Then when everyone had drifted away he felt the hollow empty pain that radiated through his entire being. I couldn’t save you. The words written in blood were everywhere he looked. I couldn’t save you. He was shaking from head to toe and did the only thing that made sense to him. He crawled into the back of the ambulance, lay down on the floor and curled into a ball, eyes wide open, hugging his knees into his body and rocking. Gareth was broken.

May 15, 2020 6:44 a.m

Gretchen Shue arrived slightly early for her shift.  She liked to take a quick look at the ambulance before Roll Call, just to be thorough.  The door was open, which in itself was unusual.  Gareth and the new kid, Logan were usually better than that.  Moving around the door, she looked inside and saw Gareth Dunham laying in a ball on the ambulance floor.

“How dedicated, Dunham.”  she snorted and grabbed his foot, shaking it.  “Wake up!  Time to let the real EMT’s have a go at Alexandra.”

No response.

Rolling her eyes, Gretchen decided she didn’t have time to spend trying to wake him up.  She had no idea how soundly Gareth slept, having never slept with him, and she had no desire to find out.  With an annoyed huff, she headed into the building from the bay, looking for Gareth’s partner.

Logan was in the locker room changing into his civilian clothes.  He’d slept after the events of the night before … but it was probably closer to four in the morning before he fell asleep, so he was running on next to no sleep at all.  Whenever he closed his eyes, he saw the Rose family.  Stabbed.  Throat slit.  Wrist slit.  Carla Rose was especially heartbreaking for him.  Watching Gareth try to save her life…  he would never forget that.  Not if he lived to be a hundred.  Bending over to tie his trainers, he looked forward to going home to his family.  Maybe with them around he could sleep.

Gretchen walked into the locker room to see Logan getting ready to leave.  Playfully, she slapped him in the back of the head as she passed to get to her own locker.  “Get your partner and get out.”  she chides.  “The EMT of the year decided to sleep in the ambulance last night.”  she huffs in annoyance again and begins to change.

Logan arched his eyebrows, but said nothing but.  “Sure.  See you in 48.”  and walked out of the locker room, going into the vehicle bay and looking at Gareth.  “Gareth?”  he reached and shook his partner by the hip.  Nothing.  “Gareth?”  he leaned forward and notices that Gareth’s eyes are open.  Frowning, he hops in for a closer look.  Reaching for the drug kit, he pulls out a pen light and checks Gareth's eyes. Then takes his pulse and blood pressure.  While he does this, Gareth remains motionless.  Sighing deeply, Logan hops out of the ambulance and, deciding to use the bay doors, goes around the front of the building and through the public entrance to the Chief’s office.

Hank Stanley is not behind his desk now.  It’s almost seven and he is giving Phineas Ackerman his report on their shift.  At the end of it, the door opens and Logan walks in looking concerned.

Logan sees his chief and the B shift Captain and moves to Hank, leaning down and whispering.  “Cap, Gareth is curled up in the ambulance.  I took his vitals and .. he’s in shock, sir.”  he doesn't add ‘I think’ .. because he is an EMT.  He knows Gareth is in shock.

Hank hears Logan and stands, suddenly.  “Phineas, keep your crew out of the vehicle bay for a while.  There’s a situation.  Dunham.”

Phineas sighs and nods.  “Sure thing, Hank.” and he grabs his tablet and leaves the office.

Hank turns to Logan.  “Come on.”  and he, like Logan, goes out the public entrance and around to the vehicle bay.  While Hank is not an EMT, he is trained to know shock when he sees it.  Moving the hair out of Gareth’s face, he half turns his head in Logan’s direction.  “Go get Ambo 2.” he orders.  “Non Code R.”

Logan nods.  Keep it quiet.  “Yes, sir.”  he jogs out of the vehicle bay and straight down the street in the direction of the clinic.

Gareth was aware of Gretchen talking to him and felt her shake his foot. But he just couldn’t move, like he had no will to. He heard Logan and Hank’s voices. All the voices seemed at a great distance to him, like they were far down a hallway that echoed. Gareth couldn’t reach out to the echoes. He couldn’t walk down that hallway. All he could do was be right where he was, curled up, eyes open, unmoving now. Gareth was in stillness and silence.

Hank stays with Gareth.  He doesn’t exactly understand all of the medical mumbo-jumbo, but he is also far from stupid.  This just isn’t a problem that can be solved by putting wet stuff on hot stuff.  “Stay with me, son.”  he rumbles.  He looks for something mildly humorous.  “I know
 … I can sympathise.  Just…”  he sighs deeply.  He hates seeing his crew in pain.  And of them, not just A shift.  He hears the sound of a heavy vehicle and stands to peek around the ambulance to see the other one on its way.  “Let’s go get you some help, son.”  he pulls at Gareth, putting him in the classic ‘fireman’s carry’ and heads for the vehicle bay doors and the second ambulance.

Logan hops out of the ambulance and sees Hank carrying Gareth out.  He opens the ambulance doors and pulls out a gurney, which hank puts Gareth on.  Logan buckles Gareth in and, when Hank gets in with Gareth, he closes the door and gets behind the wheel, driving the short distance to the clinic.

Gareth’s body moved easily by the repositioning, carrying and then strapping in. Now he’s on his back, looking straight up, eyes open still and his mouth a bit open. He could look dead if it weren't for the rising of his chest when he breathed. Every now and then he blinks but it’s irregular.

Susan McKinney meets the ambulance, dressed in her scrubs and high tops, as usual.  “Take him up to Room 6 for me.  I’ll be right there.”  they will know that Room 6 is one of the nicer patient rooms that isn’t the Intensive Care ward on the 3rd floor.  She moves into her office and grabs her tablet, making sure that Gareth’s fine is on it.  Only then does she head upstairs.

Hank helps Logan get Gareth up the stairs.  They settle him in Room 6 and Hank stands at the side of the bed he knows Susan is not likely to be ona nd waits.

Logan moves to the foot of the bed when they put Gareth in it.  He looks at him and bites his lip.  “Come on, man.  You’re my mentor, you know…”  he murmurs.

Gareth can still hear everything but doesn’t respond to anyone. The words go in though and he’ll likely remember them all. Even though right now all he can do is stare at the ceiling.

Susan walks in the door a few minutes later.  “Well, hello there, Gareth.”  she isn’t exactly ignoring Hank or Logan, but Gareth is her priority.  She begins by taking his pulse and blood pressure.  Looking into his eyes.  She looks up at Hank, but then back at Gareth.  She knows about the fire.  “I understand you had quite the night last night.”  she isn’t joking, but she keeps her voice a bit light.  “Do you want to talk about it with me?”  usually she had a good rapport with the EMT’s, but Gareth lived with Michelle so it felt a little closer than usual.  It was the same with Logan whose mother was Susan's nurse.

Gareth hears Susan. She’s in a  shorter hallway but she’s still out of reach. He doesn’t respond but there are a few extra blinks during her examination.

Susan doesn’t seem insulted.  “Ell, maybe on my lunch break.”  she smiles and pats him on the hand, then looks at Hank and Logan to come out with her.  She closes the door.  “I’m going to call in Dr Singh.”  she tells them.  “Don’t expect him to be back after this 48, alright.'' She is still a professional.  “You two may as well go home.  Hank, I’ll let you know what I can .. and you can trickle down the information, airight?”

Hank blows out a breath and then sighs.  “Alright.  Thank you, Susan.”  he claps Logan on the shoulder.  “Go on home, son.  I’ll keep you informed.  Get some sleep.”  But he stays until Logan leaves to speak again.

Logan leaves the room with Hank and listens to the doctor.  Is Gareth having some sort of breakdown, he wonders.  And then he thinks that is possible.  The way he worked on Mrs Rose.  But he just nods when Hank speaks to him.  “Yes, Sir.  I’ll try.”  and they leave together.  He looks forward to his hug more than ever this morning.

When Logan has left the building, he turns to Susan.  “You should also call Lydia .. if you haven’t already thought about that.”  he looks at the closed door.  “The boy needs his mother now, I bet.”

Susan smiles softly at Hank.  “Good idea.  I will.”  she  claps him on the arm.  “Now I am ordering YOU, Chief Stanley … go home and get some rest.”  she knows better than to tell him to sleep.  That might not be possible.

Hank chuckles.  “Yes, doctor.”  and he also heads home to a good ear and maybe sleep as well.

Gareth just lies there breathing. His breath is regular. His facial expression is impassive. He just is...catatonic.

Dr. Gurshan Singh ambles down the hallway towards Susan’s office, tablet in his hand. He hums a little indistinguishable tune as he goes and then stops humming just at her door and knocks. He’s dressed as he usually does for work in a white shirt and tie and today grey dress pants and a blue turban. His beard is long but well cared for.

Lydia Alvin bustles into the clinic looking harried  and stops in at the front desk to confirm she has an appointment with Susan. She’s ushered down the hall and her crocks flap as she walks. Lydia looks like she’s been gardening. She’s in an old pair of blue sweats with dirt on the knees and wearing a yellow t-shirt she won from the radio station about 19 years ago that’s looking a little worn out. Her hairband today is a multicoloured floral pattern and she carries a brown leather purse that looks like it could pack a wallop as well as snacks for all her kids.. She rushes to the office arriving just as Dr. Singh is knocking. “Hello Doctor.” Her tone is concerned.

“Hello Lydia.” He greets kindly, as they both wait.

Susan stands when the knock comes and slides the accordian door open for them.  “Ah you’re both here.  Lease, come in and have a seat.”  That means the well worn comfy couch in the doctor's office.  She sits in her chair as they do and turns it to face them.  Considering, she begins with.  “I assume you heard about the fire last night …”

Dr Singh deferes to Lydia, allowing her to enter the office first. And then follows, closing the door. He takes the seat on the couch closest to the  door and balances his tablet on his lap.

Lydia sits on the inside seat as she went in first and then nods at Susan “Yeah I heard the sirens...and then the news this morning.” She looks pained “Is Gareth ok? Did he get burned?” She looks at Dr. Singh as if trying to piece it together. She holds her purse on her lap.

Susan pauses and takes a deep breath.  “He didn't get burned or anything, Lydia.”  she assures her.  “But in speaking to Hank Stanley, he worked on Carla Rose … and would not stop.”  she looks between them both, as both know Gareth’s history she isn’t violating his confidentiality.  “He’s showing the same symptoms he did when Jasmine Paulina died.”  she shakes her head.  “Catatonic, unresponsive … all of it.”

Lydia sighs and her eyes fill up “Poor Gareth. Carla Rose was a mother…” She pauses “This might be worse than Jasmine.”

Doctor Singh has had many appointments with Gareth and in every one of them the man, and even when he was a boy, spent them insisting he was fine. He could tell Gareth was not fine but he couldn’t get him to ever tell him why. Gurshan knew why from the child psyche evaluation Gareth had done before he came to the island that was transferred to him. “This might be the crack…” He looked between Lydia and Susan “The place where the light comes in...if he can recover.”

Susan nods.  To both of them, she speaks.  “Yes, this might be a breakthrough.  He’s up in 6 … I thought this time, he may stay a while.  The clinic is back to being more ‘normal’ .. so I don’t nEed the bed.”  she looks at Gurshan.  “If he needs medication, let me know.”  she actually expects this will not be an overnight visit for Gareth.  It wasn’t with Jasmine, either.

Doctor Singh nods back at Susan “We could try a benzodiazepine…..for the Catatonia….but not for too long as it can be addictive and we don’t want to add layers to this.”

Lydia clutches her purse, still looking teary eyed “Can I see him?” She asks quietly.

Susan nods.  “That’s already going through his system.  He can’t even pretend he’s fine until he comes out of it.”  she smiles at Lydia.  “Of course.  Don’t expect much right now, but there’s no reason he can’t have visitors.”  she thinks of Ziggy and then of the mask graffiti on the parking lot wall of the clinic.

Doctor Singh looks pleased about medication. But of course Susan was always on top of her game. Most brilliant doctor he's ever met. “Lydia, if you would like my support I can be in the room...or I can come in later. Gareth and I have not been able to build enough rapport for him to ever open up so I may be a hindrance. I know my limits.” He admits meekly.

Lydia stands and looks between then both “Thank you. I’d like to visit him alone for awhile if that’s alright.” She knows what can work to get Gareth to talk and she hopes it might now. But this, this is bigger than anything else. It goes deep.

Susan nods at them both and then looks at Gurshan.  “I was wondering ….”  She begins slowly.  “What about your friend?  Dr Henry?”  She knows that Gershan has been referring some of his patients to Mary.  She looks at Lydia.  “Mary is a psychiatrist from White Rock.  I don’t know if she might help.  Sometimes it’s as simple as gender.”

Dr Singh nods “In his case yes...I will speak to Mary about a referral.” Gurshan stands and  gives Lydia a little arm squeeze “Call for an appointment if you need support too Lydia. I know how much you take on as a caregiver...to so many. “ He smiles at Susan “I have another appointment to keep. My phone is always on though if you need anything Dr. McKinney.” And with that he straightens his tie and swiftly exits.

Lydia nods at Dr. Singh “Thank you...I will.” She nods at Susan and watches him leave “I wish he had talked to Dr. Singh when he was a  kid. You could be right about gender. It does make me wonder though. About Gareth’s sexuality….hmmm…” She shrugs “Some things aren't’ meant to make sense.”

Lydia follows Dr McKinney to room 6 and  thanks her as she’s left alone with Gareth. Her boy. Not through her, but he came to her and has always been a son, more than some of the other foster kids. Lydia leans over Gareth and smooths his hair “Gareth baby….come back to us…” She chokes up “I remember you when you were just a sliver of a boy..” She keeps stroking his hair “Hiding under my kitchen sink.” He blinks a bit but doesn’t move. Lydia looks at the side bar on the bed and fiddles with it until it comes down. Then she lies down beside him and hugs him “I’m gonna be right here.” And for hours she stays there, holding onto him, so long that she drifts off to sleep. She awakes with a start to a sound she hasn’t heard in years. It’s Gareth. He’s sobbing uncontrollably and clinging tightly to her arm like he did as a boy. She smooths his hair again. “There you are.” She says with a teary smile, making eye contact. Gareth can only manage one sentence but it’s lucid. He looks back into Lydia’s eyes and coughs out “I couldn’t save her.”